Friday, July 17
In the early hours I'm not sleeping.  My back bothers me which it hasn't all week.   The ecstasy of Monday and Tuesday has ebbed.  I know it's my last day and I feel the sadness and drop in energy.  How much can I do and learn and expect in one week?

I tell Mona that I don't know what her schedule is but that I'd like to reconnect with Phoenix and Destiny again.  That's fine but Sharon needs to be with me. Oh, I'm her shadow! I've been grateful for Sharon's company and teachings. Mona needs a couple hours for business but I think she's a little concerned about leaving me.

I sit outside the pen that holds Destiny and Phoenix trying to get some feel of them.  They pay me no mind that I can tell.  Sharon is in cleaning their shed and asks if I'm coming in.  I open the gate slowly and take up space quietly.  Maybe that's a sense of inhibition to them rather than respect. For me it's both.

They are both stand-offish, even with Sharon. She's trying to rub peppermint oil on their legs to keep the flies off.  Yesterday Phoenix had blood on her legs from bites.  I had hoped for more connection with either of them but it wasn't happening. Sharon was trying to connect with Destiny but she isn't in the mood and keeps moving away.


Mona, Sharon, Lydia, and I gather for our last lunch, finishing off what was contributed over the course of the last few days.  Today I brought chocolate, and lottery tickets for Mona, hoping she'd get her new barn.  And, it turns out it's her birthday!  Hopeful . . . wait for it . . . 11 lousy bucks.

Koal has his own stall now and can be all sociable!  Nice box with two windows that look out on Cheyenne and Tenaya.

So the two girls are brought down to the arena for grooming and ground work.  I groom Tenaya and I think Sharon brought Cheyenne into a pen because she was having trouble with her.  Eventually, I'm doing ground work with Tenaya which can become tedious unless you're someone who's tapped into little cues.  We're walking over the poles and under the hanging ropes and Tenaya is fine and I praise her.  She is a feather.  Judy from the weekly Women and Horses group joins us with another horse and is doing the same.  Sharon is fitting into the rotation as she can with Cheyenne who is still unpredictable.

Tenaya and I are at the end of the arena up by the gate that opens to the fields. I don't know if I heard the ruckus first or happened to turn around and see it.  Maybe she was spooked by the hanging ropes, I don't know. But I saw Cheyenne spin back along the wall and fall, splayed on her belly with front legs out and scrambling to get up.  Now she is galloping head-long and hell-bent toward Tenaya and me.  Damn.  Her lead rope gets caught in the pen and she pulls 2 or 3 of the 5' high pen panels to the ground. Cheyenne is galloping low and stretched out toward Tenaya and me.  Tenaya begins to dance, unsure of where to go. I'm trying to hold her lead rope and figure out when to let go and climb the pen I'm next to, letting her fend for herself.  Cheyenne swerves in front of us and comes to a sudden stop twenty feet away near the field gate. Tenaya is snorting in a way I've never heard - a slight and rapid, high-pitched sound.  I stroke her neck to calm her.

Meanwhile, Mona and Sharon are assessing Cheyenne from afar to see if she's been hurt. She picks up her left front hoof a few times but then I see her pick up the right forefront, too, so she's had weight on both.  They determine that, for now, she seems okay and they'll let her be still.  They turn to reassembling the pen panels. Mona asks if I'm okay and says something about dealing with the unexpected.  Later she'll ask me if I saw Cheyenne leap over the panel on the ground.  Nope.  I only saw the panels crash and a wild and frightened horse come racing my way. Yep, I'd call that a bonafied 10!  Sure wish I had a video of that. What a way to end the week.

Had there been others at the clinic this week, we all would have been assessing our individual horses and ourselves. But I was in an unusual place of being the only person in the clinic. I had worked with a few different horses so didn't necessarily see a difference in them.

But I do know that I have changed by my fantasy becoming reality.  I've had the opportunity to feel the barn, it's smells of hay and manure, learning that servings of hay are known as flakes, hearing  neighs and brays and barks, crunching of hay and feed, watching one horse (Fire Fox?) be bullied by his neighbor when he comes back to his stall, witnessing Brave Heart patrol his barn, schlepping hay bales to storage, seeing up close the difference between halters and bridles, seeing an intake to the Rescue, choosing a curry comb over a soft comb, getting a horse to let me hold and pick their feet, watching Grant the Mule aka Houdini of the barn flaunt his independence.  I've listened and learned from two knowledgeable women.

And it used to be that when I saw a horse, I'd feel cautious but at ease to go to them and pet them.  To do that with these horses just felt wrong.  Disrespectful.  These are captured wild horses in various stages of gentled after abuse in their round-up.  And these are rescued domestic horses, most abused and neglected.  Given those circumstances, I take no risk or liberties with them. Build trust, earn respect.

The day is wrapping up with watering and feeding, putting the two cats in their pens for the night. It's almost good-bye.  Feels strange to spend so much time with these women and their horses and then go back to my horseless world. There's a Mustang event in Mass in a few weeks and I can hang out with Sharon, Mona, and Judy.  They'll soon be hosting the annual Inter-tribal Pow-Wow on the Rescue land. Then there's the 50th Anniversary of the legendary Ford Mustang fundraiser for the Legendary Wild Mustangs of the West on September 26. Mona says they run at least one fundraiser a month.  That's a lot of energy to get the funding to help these horses.

After I'm home for a bit, I see this video that Sharon posted now that the new fence is finished.  It's the first time that Cheyenne and Tenaya have been out of their pen and loose, able to run on grass.  For Cheyenne, it may be the first time since she was captured in 2000. What a beautiful thing.