Appreciation
Beth and Evan are a solid team and it's been fun hearing them laugh at
and with us and with themselves when they're sequestered at their tarp talking about their families or group antics. I have felt supported by both and increasingly by the group.Evan & Beth taking a break
On our last night, we hear appreciations, each taking turn in the middle of the circle while others say a statement of what or why they appreciate us. I have said my fears of not being able to keep up and/or holding the group back. But I have hauled on the portages, jumped over the rocks, been in front as well as the back for paddling, fed my cook group, and my punctuality has improved with familiarity and the count of days. I heard appreciation that I wish I could have taped. The most succinctly memorable is being told that, with only positive intent, "You are one bad bitch." I'll take it happily.Beth's constant reminder:
Day 10, 9/18
Raquette River Expedition comes to an end with the last two hour paddle. We stop in sight of the landing where Evan reminds us that our group as we know it is about to end. We will never be the same group again. He suggests that we paddle the rest of the way in silence and that our bows touch shore at the same time. We paddle silently and my tears fall, unnoticed in the rain that pours. A bald eagle flies across our path overhead. I think about what I have done in these 10 days, that I actually finished the 10 days, and that I learned and that I laughed. I fall into old controlling patterns when I notice a couple of boats behind and I'm anxious that we all land together. My voice breaks the silence, at least softly, "All boats together" and I wish I could pull the words back into my mouth. So, I continue to learn. We do all touch shore together and I hold my head while I weep silently for the whole expedition. Aaron touches my shoulder as he walks past. We unload and reload on the trailer in relative silence. We dress back into our street clothes and head for the restaurant of tradition for a hot breakfast/brunch that none of us has to cook over an outdoor stove. . . and there's the luxury of running hot water and soap!
For the most part, I fully participated in life.
Paddle the Single
We've left the rapids and are on flat water again. After a hard day in a Dagg
er that is tough on flat water but good on white water, Beth asked if I wanted to try the single canoe. I heard someone say it was tricky but no is not in my vocabulary right now so Beth and I switched, she in tandem with Erin. The rest of the boats were well down the river and Beth and Erin were hanging back until I got my strokes in order. Didn't happen. I zigzagged and spun in circles and at some point just started laughing at the effort and sight, laughing harder when I saw the two of them bent over in their boat laughing at me. The belly laughs were long overdue. Eventually, I found some semblance of strokes that moved me forward as I followed Beth and Erin. Me comin' up after a swing & Erin
I'm not sure what I did, moved off center or dug a hard stroke, but my gunwale was touching water and the ensuing whistle blow and rescue ran through my brain. My thought to right myself must have been enough to throw me and boat back to center and I paddled on, no one the wiser until I told them.Rapids and more
The days are a blur but we had 3 days of running rapids. List of Rapids: Sols Rapids, Burnt Island Rapids, Hedgehog Rapids, Moosehead Rapids (over 1 mile), Moody Falls (too intense so lined the boats; named after a father and son who died on the rapids). We portage again at Jamestown Falls, according to Beth an Olympic Trial site with class 4 or 5 rapids. They have slalom gates when the water is really running. There are dry rocks now that we can walk on and I scout, imagining my route were I to dare.
Me in the Bow, Erin in the Stern
The long rapids gave us a chance to get the feel of 
the water and build confidence. Erin said she was fine with me being in the bow convinced me that she was having fun, too. In the bow I had to look right in front of me to pick my way through the rocks but keep an eye for the path we wanted to follow or at least for what rocks, pillows, or strainers are up ahead. Erin was always good about shouting out instructions in case I needed them. One of the first ones we ran was deemed a waterfall by Evan. Beth shouted "smile" but I was concentrating too much as I would draw and cross draw sometimes in split seconds and Erin would have to follow my lead. I couldn't see what she was doing and was so grateful to have her in the stern! Above & Below: Me in the bow; Erin in the stern
the water and build confidence. Erin said she was fine with me being in the bow convinced me that she was having fun, too. In the bow I had to look right in front of me to pick my way through the rocks but keep an eye for the path we wanted to follow or at least for what rocks, pillows, or strainers are up ahead. Erin was always good about shouting out instructions in case I needed them. One of the first ones we ran was deemed a waterfall by Evan. Beth shouted "smile" but I was concentrating too much as I would draw and cross draw sometimes in split seconds and Erin would have to follow my lead. I couldn't see what she was doing and was so grateful to have her in the stern! Above & Below: Me in the bow; Erin in the stern
Tonight we did rounds of "So there I was. . . " stories, regaling each other with short life stories. I chose the time that I was on the back of my sister Mary's bike while, despite or in spite of my fear, she peddled fast down Cherry Hill outside the project. At 7, I didn't know the laws of physics so thought jumping off the bike would be safest. I walked home, my chin bleeding.
At Jamestown we camp by the falls and can hear the class 4 falls during the night. The young 'uns are in tarps above and Coquette, Erin, and I end the trip as we started, in the Taj Mahal tent but this time next to Beth and Evan given the small area. I sit here and watch Daddy Long Legs walk on me and I'm not flipping out but do brush them off. We are all ready for creature comforts. We've seen foliage starting. the last 2 days we've arrived at camp early so after unloading and setting up camp, have had respites of personal time. . .a welcome change of pace. I find myself sitting on a bolder over the rapids writing.
A mix
Seems we see the Great Blue Herons (GBHs) in the flat water areas rather than rapids which I would think would be good fishing sites.
Sarah's white semi-see-through, too small half-shirt that left her with sunburn between the shirt and her low slung pants were a daily reference for ridicule and humor. It's evolving scent and dinge was also fodder. Ian took heat often about his infected toe that needed attention and Beth and Evan did a skit one night donning Ian's and Sarah's clothing and were dead on.
the skit--in too small half shirt &way too low riders; and then there's big & floppy
Hot Seats continue each day after debriefings. We're learning the individuals we're with in this group. We've had a couple of communal dinners and on the last night, my turn to cook, I dumped the boiling water twice, once with the pasta. I salvaged most of it, combined it with left over angel hair, added pesto to the cheese sauce and Coquette, Erin and I made the most of the late meal. One night the group set up a string of tarps to make one communal tarp. At least a few nights were in the 30s. . .foreshadowing of our upcoming fall and winter trips.
9/15
Started the day practicing rescue at camp and strokes to run the rapids! The rescue training upped my apprehension and we walked to the low head dam and Evan told us that it is one of the deadliest obstacles people encounter in rivers. Beth and Evan had also told us that, after extensive personality and skills assessment, they would be choosing our permanent paddle partners for the rapids and that if there was anyone we knew we didn't want to paddle with to let them know. I chose to let go of control and take whomever I was assigned knowing it would be a learning in all ways.
Erin and I were paired and I found that she was just what I needed. Her patience and confidence allowed me time to gain my own. When we got out onto the river we practiced "ferry" maneuvers to cross the river and get to eddies where we could sit and wait or think through maneuvers. Warnings (and my apprehension) in head, we paddled toward our first rapid, got through but we landed on a rock and I had to remember to lean down river toward the rock so we don't flip over and flood. Erin got out and yanked us free while I leaned.Beth watching and encouraging as Erin and I get unstuck
This happened on 2 or 3 runs but I felt good about the runs and look forward to tomorrow when we'll do more 2s--one of them about a mile long! We learned to scout the rapids to find the path we most wanted to follow. We saw some level 3s and 4s, or just too bony 2s, and learned how to line the boats around the rapids rather than portage--awesome! One of us would hold the painter line on the bow, let the boat float or maneuver it toward the person further down on the rocks and they'd pick up the stern line, the bow line would be thrown into the boat and that person would get to another place further down, until the boat reached the safest spot. I was noticing how comfortable and balanced I was feeling jumping and climbing the rocks.
One of the challenges has been the lack of personal or alone time to reflect or just be. Beth warned us not to expect much and so it is. I've scribbled a few notes on a few pages in my journal. Now over a week back, recounting the 10 days is a labor so I'm reverting to stories as I recall them or pulling from my scribbles.
Tonight we had the first and only fire of the trip.
9/13, Thought I'd make it with gear to the boats by the deadline of 8 a.m. but was 1.30 min late. Sarah came over and helped me stuff the tent into my pack. Beth did a community learning moment about helping people and taking initiative. I teared up at that point, already frustrated with myself for not making it on time.
After my rough start, had a good day today. Felt great canoeing--Beth showed me more technique on bow strokes and I felt like I picked it up well and had good torso rotation.
Me stretching and FDKatey, Sarah M and Aaron in back
We portaged 2 days ago and it was a killer. . . about a mile and then a second one I think. We may have portaged this day. Later Beth said, "You're hard core, Eileen. You're doing it and not asking anyone to save you." Encouragement. On one of the portages, FDK and I are last and gathered gear but go straight when we should have turned left so miss the boat portage. We were carrying a bunch of gear that wasn't ours so had good EB (Expedition Behavior) in mind. But others didn't come back to help with boats so a few who were doing double carries raised their frustrations at night in the Circle-up. We began to pull together more as a group the next day.
Tonight we'll be at Trombly. Tomorrow we'll camp near rapids. At debrief, we did skits on potential health threatening situations and folks had to guess the problem. I was in two skits. One about not feeding or trying to befriend bears. Beth was a little girl on her mother's lap (TK?) and I was the bear and gave a realistically fierce performance. Also did a diarrhea skit with Ian who squatted and hung onto a tree while I, out of sight, reached around and dumped sloppy, wet earth, appropriately gross, though I forgot to do the sound effects.
Day 4 Saturday, 9/12/09
Paddling is becoming more familiar. I am particularly comfortable in the bow with the power and occasional corrective draw and cross-draw strokes. The stern requires J-strokes and sweeps and the Js twist me up. We are supposed to be mindful of the terrain we pass so that we can offer correct map checks.
Map Check: Sarah M and me in the green boat; I'm in stern. Front Red: Aaron laying down and Evan
Left Red: FDK Katey & Ian
Tan Single: Beth
Right Red: TK Katey & Conway
Starry Starry Night. What a show as I look out from under my tarp at night, finally relax my body and mind, and smile at the beauty as long as my eyes stay open to witness one of my goals, a "wilderness" night sky.
Nights have been cold enough that I donned Mary Ms BugShirt only once. I've opted to hope that if anything crawls on me, it will be on the sleeping bag and I'll never notice. Tonight I feel a couple of crawls on my head and slap and rub hard. I still manage to sleep. I am changing.
Day 3 Friday, 9/11/09
Daily and private morning meltdowns continue with awareness of the number of days still to come, the grinding realization that camping is hard work, and consistently not making it to "circle up" on time to start the day, though I see glimmers of that possibility. I remember Meme saying she no longer wanted to camp in VT because she was doing the same work she'd do at home only it was harder. Yep.
Breakfast is consistently oatmeal--variety packs. I brought a couple of bananas wrapped in bubble wrap to see if they'd hold up on the trip. Some of the fruit was salvageable and joined the oatmeal. I slept and hydrated well and am grateful that I feel well again. The "Quicky" romance/murder mystery brought by Katy (FDK) is consistently referenced throughout the trip.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner typically share time with student 
presentations or lessons on map reading, tree identification, edible plants, paddling and rescue technique, and knot tying. River map checks are a given periodically throughout the day. I can now read a topographical map--determine marsh vs elevation, rapids, and determine with some general precision where we may be at a given time. A new skill. I think I was paddling with Conway today.
presentations or lessons on map reading, tree identification, edible plants, paddling and rescue technique, and knot tying. River map checks are a given periodically throughout the day. I can now read a topographical map--determine marsh vs elevation, rapids, and determine with some general precision where we may be at a given time. A new skill. I think I was paddling with Conway today. Me portaging with Conway
Great Blue Herons are relatively common along the river and we are treated daily as they stand on long spindle legs or, as boats approach, rise in flight. I am surprised and disappointed that they do not resemble my first viewing in the 80s when I thought a Great Blue Heron looked prehistoric. Today, a bald eagle glides above, white head catching the sunlight.
Ever vigilant on the river, Evan finds a small water path off the river that he's never investigated and he asks if we'd like to check it out. Someone checks the map and it looks like it may cut at least half a mile off. We paddle in and suddenly are in a narrow swampy mess. The path constricts and muscle power won't move the boats forward. Nothing to do but jump out and shove the boat. . . and sink into the muck with a gasp. Ugh. Water shoes squish in the swampy muck and I see Evan, out of the swamp and in the river light, watching the show as swamp blues laugh out of his harmonica. I see him, start laughing and yell slowly and deliberately, "I've never done this before!" We emerge and I turn in time to see Coquette deep in the hole that I missed. Laughing loudly, I am chastised by Evan for finding humor in a comrade's misery.
Tonight I cook! Nothing worse than a lousy meal and not w
anting to disappoint my cookmates, I made sure I brought healthy dinners with little touches and decided the first night would be the easiest. Couscous, dried mixed veggies, seasonings, salmon (in packets), and optional nutritional yeast. I'm in green cooking on tree stump Erin and Coquette both declare my first camp dinner a success despite having made at least double the amount of needed couscous. Was finally able to give it away to someone who will use it for tomorrow's lunch. Front: TK Katey, FDK Flash Dance Katey
L to R: Ian, Conway, me messing w/stove, Erin, Evan, Aaron
L to R: Ian, Conway, me messing w/stove, Erin, Evan, Aaron
Back in the Taj Mahal tent tonight with Katie (TK) who catches me up on her life in South Dakota. She has a BA in Meteorology and is a common go-to person when we talk clouds and potential sky reading.
Day 2 Thursday, 9/10/09
We'll be on the river today so the van and another vehicle will be placed at the end of the trip and at an emergency spot respectively. We break camp and meet at the agreed upon 8 a.m. Well, more like 8:30 because some of us are late, myself the worst case. I'm trying my darndest but can't find anything, have no packing system in place, and want to contribute in taking down the tent so I'm not freeloading.
While drivers make the two hour ride, we wrap up details, grab breakfast. I had the 2nd worst headache in memory, thus a lousy night's sleep--my best guess, less than an hour. I'm exhausted, feel nauseous and shaky and can't hold back the tears as I get hot water from Erin for my oatmeal. We do some practice paddling until the drivers return, I let Beth know that I feel sick and she asks if I hydrated enough yesterday--probably not. I don't think it's nerves though allow the possibility, hope that I haven't caught a bug from my housemate, and try not to let the looming 9 days haunt me in the guise of a potential evacuation. There is nothing to do but go forward.
We receive our 3 laminated copies of maps depicting our
route, pack our tandem canoes, slightly heavier stern end, and head out on aptly named Long Lake. Likely because I feel sick, I paddle with Beth or Evan over the course of the day and hold up my end of the paddling in the bow, though it turns out that, each day, someone paddles with our instructor/guides. Me in yellow with Evan, Erin with Conway Kindly, they don't make me deal with J-strokes in the stern. We make it to Axton Landing and set up our next camp. Fumbling and frustration ensues. Erin cooks dinner.Me in yellow w/Evan; Erin w/Conway
Catholes (no pictures)
Beth gives a lesson on using the E-Tool to dig a "cathole." Likely everyone knows the procedure but me and when Beth unfolds the shovel I say, "Eeww, you touched it!" Expressing her gratitude for my opening yet another lesson portal, Beth explains that the shovel is meant only to dig a circular plug of earth which we then remove so that we may deposit our waste and then plop the plug of earth on top, tap it into the ground and mark it with an X of sticks to identify the location for the next cathole digger. And of course, have your toilet zip bag with you to place your poop TP rather than leave "flowers" at the site or for animals to dig up. LNT (Leave No Trace) at work. Number 2s must be left 200' or more from water sites. Later, I grudgingly grab the E-Tool and dig my first cathole. . . a success in all ways. I am Woodswoman!
Evening Sessions include student interactive presentations and daily debriefs. Presentations have been good for the most part, some exceptional either in content or delivery encouraging participation with candy offered as reward much as one rewards a show dog. Debriefs cover the day's paddle, group dynamics which, so far, have been surprisingly good. Then there's the Hot Seat. The Hot Seat requires one member of the group to answer probing questions so we begin to know who is in the group. Serves a purpose and I think people in general are willing Hot Seaters. Most people want to be known. No one seems uncomfortable.
Will sleep under a tarp with Sarah, a smart and intuitive woman who will turn 21 when we get back.
Day 1 Wednesday, 9/9/09
Team A departs Greenfield, MA for Lake Eaton Campground (Team B follows next day). Up at 4:30 a.m. to arrive at the college for 6 a.m.
Team A in the van is Beth Sayers, Evan Perkins (guide who we meet that morning), Katy (FDK--Flash Dance Katey our resident dancer), Conway, Ian, Aaron, and me. Coquette and Katey (TK) drive their vehicles part way for emergency and logistics and Erin and Sarah drive with them. We leave Greenfield in a van with a trailer of gear and canoes, and a bunch of people who don't know each other well but are launching on a 10 day adventure together. I know I get to know people better one-on-one rather than in groups so the drive is tedious at best. I read about logging to prepare for my student presentation lesson plan.
Lunch break at the Adirondack Museum where we get a sense of the natural and human history and development of the Adirondacks. We each need to give interactive presentations during our trip so I visit the logging exhibit Work in the Woods: Logging the Adirondacks. Lots of detail about the softwood white pines being initially the most valued and logged trees, the second choice hemlocks left to rot after removing the bark used for tanning hides, and the eventual move to hardwoods used for pulp in paper manufacturing. Life in logging camps was rough and the work dangerous in the seasonal process and methods used for cutting and transporting the logs from mountain sides to rivers for the "drive" down river to the mills.
Arrive Camp Eaton complete with "facilities" prior to real roughing. Share the smelly Taj Mahal tent with Erin and Coquette. We are a "cook group" so each is responsible for 3 dinners over the course of the trip; on our own for breakfast and lunch. And so begins my daily scramble to find whatever I may need. My daypack holds meals and what becomes my legendary snack bag. My backpack, borrowed from George, has everything else. . . in theory. Continued rooting to find things brings frustration and private tears. And finding the time to use the facilities is another hoop. And do they have TP? Water and soap? Grab your toiletries bag and hold your breath!
Dinner--Coquette cooks our first dinner tonight.
Did a Circle-Up check-in about how everyone is feeling and on a scale of 1-5, most admit to being a 4 or 5. I admit my 2ish or 3ish--saying I was feeling shaky--it's all new for me. Beth noted I've been good about saying how I feel and said no matter everyone's experience, everyone will feel anxious about something or other. Coquette said she needs time alone but Beth said it will be scarce so to capitalize on it when we have any down time. Peppy people in the morning was also mentioned as a potential issue.
Group A pictures are likely taken by Coquette, Aaron, or Evan.
Beth Sayers and Evan Perkins took Team A out on the Raquette River Expedition.
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