Tired, in so many ways

Weeks in April, 2010

I'm tired. Physically it's been a push to get up and out of a tent and now to get up and out of a bed at 4:30 or 5 to be ready for our last field works. I'm tired emotionally as the fact that the end of the semester, the year, is almost upon me. I want my OLP year to end and I do not want it to end. I face the "Now what?" that could make me crazy if I let it. Now I can begin to think about other facets of my life. Wonder what I got out of this year after all. Did I get anything I'd hoped for? Get anything surprising? What did I find beyond the obvious? Much to think about and I imagine it will take time to process. Think about the rest of my life. Like I said, crazy if I let it.

I need to find time to get my head straight. Get back to the calm and purpose that I felt last year, even when it was interrupted by fear. I need the sense of trust that I'm on a path. Believe or not, it is a way to maintain focus and calm needed to keep one's mind from twisting into figure eight knots. Big Sigh.