The OLP Ride Is Virtually Over

Monday, May 10, 2010

I have been blogging my brains out since I've been home, catching up for the week, staying up until 3 a.m., adding Acadia pictures as well as Challenge Course pictures that I hadn't had time to get off my camera. There's probably others I could add. Still irks me that I don't have a picture of me jumping off the Pamper Pole.

As I blog my memories, my first day getting my ID, the first gear check when Beth looked stunned at my bags and baggage but looked discretely away until she could plunge through and discard the extraneous, my first canoe trip, my first rock climb at Chapel where I freaked at 12', my first rappel attempt and my first rappel success, my first backpacking trip--the White Mountains, learning some semblance of setting up rock climbs, pulling on a dry suit without suffocating, white water canoeing, learning to edge in kayaks, and encouraging others how to do push through their own challenges. Then, because I'm in the forest I can't see the trees and must step out into the clearing to see my learnings and my accomplishments. Appreciation will evolve over time.

Riding with all these firsts, accomplishments, and appreciation, is the finality of the program. My adventure is virtually over. Acknowledging the fact is a challenge in itself and one I'm avoiding. The big "what now?" and "so what?" loom over me as possibly the deepest fall or highest climb. I'm afraid of the postpartum from this womb of schedule, purpose, and growing. This birthing leaves me independent, totally on my own for the first time in my life. . .the deepest fall or the highest climb. I need to pull in the trust and calm that I will find what I need if not what I want. This journey continues.

Still to come, individual conferences and graduation. The cutting loose is near.