Wednesday, March 31, 2010
In theory, our group has today and tomorrow off while the other group white water canoes. I hoped I would sleep in a bit but couldn't so made myself an omelet, did some way overdue cleaning, and then headed back to GCC to do some work study. Haven't done much of it lately. Tonight I need to continue working on my "Fundamentals of River Currents" presentation and start reading about "Tides and Currents" for my coastal kayaking presentation. I've always wanted to know how to read tidal schedules and now I'll learn. We have to make lesson plans that are interactive for beginners.
Heard that there was commotion yesterday when someone saw the other group on the river white water kayaking and learning swift water rescue. Because a couple of people have drowned recently in that area, the person called the police who responded along with the environmental police and a reporter. After talking with Austin, they were apparently impressed with the background of the instructors and the experience of the students, as well as the precautions and equipment required, including dry suits and helmets, and the number of alumnae who have gone on as accomplished paddlers. Unfortunately, the reporter chose not to include pertinent information in his article and went for the more sensational and irresponsible bent. Ah, freedom of the press! Made our rusted out muffler of little consequence.
Tomorrow, course work. Friday, Coastal Kayaking planning day.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
White Water Kayaking Day 2
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Of course I'm going kayaking today. Doesn't matter that I wasn't into it yesterday. OLP has already paid for it and if I didn't go, I wouldn't be fully participating. I saw Anne this morning as I was leaving in the cold and rain and said dejectedly, "Yep, out on the water today." Then I said, "Yes, I get to go out on the water today!" Need some major 'tude change. Remind myself what I am doing. I am going out white water kayaking! What decade in my life would I have ever thought this would be my life? And when I came home today, I was struck again as I draped my dry suit to dry out. I not only own but am using a dry suit! I'm doing what "other" people do. Privileged people I would have thought. And I am privileged to have this opportunity. And, despite fear, and with trust, I gave myself this opportunity. I am living life fully. Wept on my way home as thoughts of Fran came to me and that she cannot do what I do. This morning I got moving with thoughts of meeting what felt like challenges for Fran as well as for myself.
And, they were challenges. Out on the river where it was in the low 40s maybe--windy, rainy, and the ever present possibility of getting colder and wetter. But it's living in a way that feels truly alive. I wasn't vegged out in front of my TV mindlessly surfing channels rather than water.
We were given options about where we would go, depending on the group decision. We could go to one place and run the river, putting together what we learned yesterday. Or we could go to another place and continue to build the skills we had. Most of the group opted for continued building. I sat on the fence feeling that my biggest challenge would be dealing with a wet exit which I knew would happen today because, one way or another, I needed the experience. Katrina found me a different boat since the one I was in yesterday was hurting my ankle.
We carried or hauled our boats down a steep and wooded hill to the river. For little boats, they feel to me as heavy as a bigger recreational boat. Launched, we headed up to an eddy and Joe was the first to swim. What a way to start the day. Worse, one of his zippers wasn't closed completely so he got wet right away but hung in with us. Several of us have now learned that cold, wet unclosed zipper lesson. We began some warm up exercises and started practicing the 3 standard maneuvers: eddy, peel-out, and ferry drills, and then did combinations. We were all doing better today but I was constantly thinking about going for my own swim. I could see improvement as I practiced the drills but at least a couple of times was about to flip but righted myself. But should I have just let myself go in even though it was instinctual to right myself?
We stopped for lunch, sat in the warm van and ate our smorgasbord of lunches. Back to the river with promises that if we got too cold, we could leave early and go to Janet's for cake and hot chocolate. We all kept improving and then Jen went for a swim and maybe someone else. I kept hearing that it was my turn " 'cause everyone's doing it" referencing my skiing debacle. I had said in our morning debrief that I knew that what I needed to do today was swim because the lessons we least want are the ones we most need. And Janet and Katrina have said a few times that they'd like us to swim while they're around rather then not. And they are real quick at getting to overturned boats and people. We were only on the water for an hour or so in the afternoon and each time I paddled my drill I kept thinking about going in. Should I just make it happen? I was the only one who hadn't gone swimming. . . a good thing in reality because, as Janet said, I have good boat control if I can just get over my under the water fear. Time was running out, people were cold and it was time for me to bite the bullet and wet exit. I should have done it while drilling but Katrina stopped me to make sure I knew the protocol so I did a standing wet exit. Not the same feel but done. I grabbed the skirt pull before I was completely under water and Janet said I leaned back a bit which is what I've done on other wet exits. If I keep kayaking, I'm sure it'll happen for real. Yep, head and hands felt mighty cold but in reality, not as bad as I expected. I swam the short distance with my boat to the shore and Katrina grabbed my paddle.
After loading up and heading back, we heard something dragging and assumed it was from the trailer of boats. Aaron pulled over and after a few checks we discovered the muffler had rusted out and fallen. No one had cell service or a coat hanger to wire it up. Janet and Katrina realized at some point that we weren't behind them so doubled back and went to the general store for wire. They came back with a piece and some very welcome snacks. Katrina, outdoors woman and finish carpenter, wired it together and we were on our way back to Zoar. The van struggled on the way up the hills and the brakes were hot on the downhills. We debriefed and I said that I'd now want to go out for more kayaking, wishing we had a 3rd day to run the river with our drills. Learning to challenge fear continues.
Of course I'm going kayaking today. Doesn't matter that I wasn't into it yesterday. OLP has already paid for it and if I didn't go, I wouldn't be fully participating. I saw Anne this morning as I was leaving in the cold and rain and said dejectedly, "Yep, out on the water today." Then I said, "Yes, I get to go out on the water today!" Need some major 'tude change. Remind myself what I am doing. I am going out white water kayaking! What decade in my life would I have ever thought this would be my life? And when I came home today, I was struck again as I draped my dry suit to dry out. I not only own but am using a dry suit! I'm doing what "other" people do. Privileged people I would have thought. And I am privileged to have this opportunity. And, despite fear, and with trust, I gave myself this opportunity. I am living life fully. Wept on my way home as thoughts of Fran came to me and that she cannot do what I do. This morning I got moving with thoughts of meeting what felt like challenges for Fran as well as for myself.
And, they were challenges. Out on the river where it was in the low 40s maybe--windy, rainy, and the ever present possibility of getting colder and wetter. But it's living in a way that feels truly alive. I wasn't vegged out in front of my TV mindlessly surfing channels rather than water.
We were given options about where we would go, depending on the group decision. We could go to one place and run the river, putting together what we learned yesterday. Or we could go to another place and continue to build the skills we had. Most of the group opted for continued building. I sat on the fence feeling that my biggest challenge would be dealing with a wet exit which I knew would happen today because, one way or another, I needed the experience. Katrina found me a different boat since the one I was in yesterday was hurting my ankle.
We carried or hauled our boats down a steep and wooded hill to the river. For little boats, they feel to me as heavy as a bigger recreational boat. Launched, we headed up to an eddy and Joe was the first to swim. What a way to start the day. Worse, one of his zippers wasn't closed completely so he got wet right away but hung in with us. Several of us have now learned that cold, wet unclosed zipper lesson. We began some warm up exercises and started practicing the 3 standard maneuvers: eddy, peel-out, and ferry drills, and then did combinations. We were all doing better today but I was constantly thinking about going for my own swim. I could see improvement as I practiced the drills but at least a couple of times was about to flip but righted myself. But should I have just let myself go in even though it was instinctual to right myself?
We stopped for lunch, sat in the warm van and ate our smorgasbord of lunches. Back to the river with promises that if we got too cold, we could leave early and go to Janet's for cake and hot chocolate. We all kept improving and then Jen went for a swim and maybe someone else. I kept hearing that it was my turn " 'cause everyone's doing it" referencing my skiing debacle. I had said in our morning debrief that I knew that what I needed to do today was swim because the lessons we least want are the ones we most need. And Janet and Katrina have said a few times that they'd like us to swim while they're around rather then not. And they are real quick at getting to overturned boats and people. We were only on the water for an hour or so in the afternoon and each time I paddled my drill I kept thinking about going in. Should I just make it happen? I was the only one who hadn't gone swimming. . . a good thing in reality because, as Janet said, I have good boat control if I can just get over my under the water fear. Time was running out, people were cold and it was time for me to bite the bullet and wet exit. I should have done it while drilling but Katrina stopped me to make sure I knew the protocol so I did a standing wet exit. Not the same feel but done. I grabbed the skirt pull before I was completely under water and Janet said I leaned back a bit which is what I've done on other wet exits. If I keep kayaking, I'm sure it'll happen for real. Yep, head and hands felt mighty cold but in reality, not as bad as I expected. I swam the short distance with my boat to the shore and Katrina grabbed my paddle.
After loading up and heading back, we heard something dragging and assumed it was from the trailer of boats. Aaron pulled over and after a few checks we discovered the muffler had rusted out and fallen. No one had cell service or a coat hanger to wire it up. Janet and Katrina realized at some point that we weren't behind them so doubled back and went to the general store for wire. They came back with a piece and some very welcome snacks. Katrina, outdoors woman and finish carpenter, wired it together and we were on our way back to Zoar. The van struggled on the way up the hills and the brakes were hot on the downhills. We debriefed and I said that I'd now want to go out for more kayaking, wishing we had a 3rd day to run the river with our drills. Learning to challenge fear continues.
Monday, March 29, 2010
White Water Kayaking
Monday, March 29, 2010
Met at GCC around 8 am to hitch up the trailer and head up Route 2 to Zoar for our White Water program. This is a skills program rather than a certification program. Our instructors Janet and Katrina, a former OLP student in '99-'00, had a brief meeting with us and then we got skirts, booties, paddles and boats. We drove a few miles to Fife Brook, part of the Deerfield River, unloaded and brought our boats down to the water's edge--can't really call it a shore. My foot braces needed adjustment but eventually I got in, and found out that I could pull on the skirt with relative ease--they buy larges to make them easy on-off. Yeehaw! No frustration, I could take it on and off to fix my braces, and I didn't need people to help me. I could have put my water bottle inside and actually had a drink at some point.
We did some hip side exercises to get used to the tipping and then some shark games (water version of Wolf Pack) to get us used to how they move--fast and unstable. Trying to go in a straight line was a joke though with time we all got a little better. We worked in the eddies and eventually worked our way up from one to another and another, going upstream against the current. I think we counted 4 swimmers, Anna went in twice. She said one was for me so I wouldn't have to. Thank you, Anna! It probably would be better to get it over with but I did my utmost not to go in. I found white water kayaking nerve wracking and not what I'd call enjoyable. I was able to correct when I thought I might be taking a dip but the adrenaline was pumping. I likened it to something like the Challenge Course without a belay. I wasn't enjoying it but felt I needed to do it since I was there.
Tomorrow we get to do it again but this time they're going to find somewhere to get us actually paddling downstream to somewhere. I'm not sure I'm feelin' it. Sarah asked about practicing wet exits with them. Probably a good thing in theory. I'm achy and stiff. Stretching, a hot shower and lots of Arnica may help that. I feel like I need to make myself do this but I don't want to overdue it and miss the coastal kayaking trip. We'll see. Still need help getting out of the dry suit. And then there's the drop seat that is almost impossible to unzip. . . .
Met at GCC around 8 am to hitch up the trailer and head up Route 2 to Zoar for our White Water program. This is a skills program rather than a certification program. Our instructors Janet and Katrina, a former OLP student in '99-'00, had a brief meeting with us and then we got skirts, booties, paddles and boats. We drove a few miles to Fife Brook, part of the Deerfield River, unloaded and brought our boats down to the water's edge--can't really call it a shore. My foot braces needed adjustment but eventually I got in, and found out that I could pull on the skirt with relative ease--they buy larges to make them easy on-off. Yeehaw! No frustration, I could take it on and off to fix my braces, and I didn't need people to help me. I could have put my water bottle inside and actually had a drink at some point.
We did some hip side exercises to get used to the tipping and then some shark games (water version of Wolf Pack) to get us used to how they move--fast and unstable. Trying to go in a straight line was a joke though with time we all got a little better. We worked in the eddies and eventually worked our way up from one to another and another, going upstream against the current. I think we counted 4 swimmers, Anna went in twice. She said one was for me so I wouldn't have to. Thank you, Anna! It probably would be better to get it over with but I did my utmost not to go in. I found white water kayaking nerve wracking and not what I'd call enjoyable. I was able to correct when I thought I might be taking a dip but the adrenaline was pumping. I likened it to something like the Challenge Course without a belay. I wasn't enjoying it but felt I needed to do it since I was there.
Tomorrow we get to do it again but this time they're going to find somewhere to get us actually paddling downstream to somewhere. I'm not sure I'm feelin' it. Sarah asked about practicing wet exits with them. Probably a good thing in theory. I'm achy and stiff. Stretching, a hot shower and lots of Arnica may help that. I feel like I need to make myself do this but I don't want to overdue it and miss the coastal kayaking trip. We'll see. Still need help getting out of the dry suit. And then there's the drop seat that is almost impossible to unzip. . . .
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Prep New Presentations
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Dug into the reading and planning on Friday after class and for the night. Have to stay a step ahead or I'll get sucked into a hole--a "highly aerated churning action." I'm reminded that I need to stay in shape to do this course. Hiked on Saturday up the south side of Mt. Holyoke to the Summit House, over Taylor's Notch and looped along paths to view Lithia Springs. We don't get much real exercise in OLP except when we're on trips or in the field. Went to the gym this morning and then back to the books. Walked down to the river by the dinosaur tracks to be both distracted from life and inspired by the river current and its slabs with prehistoric tracks. . . reminded of the Molly Baker article on Landfullness in Adventure Based Programming: Promoting Reconnection to the Land.
I thought ahead and wore my parka but didn't think about warmer pants. While I read about reading river current, I read the Connecticut's current as it rushed in front of me; smooth small pillows, upward Vs--dangerous, not to be confused with downward Vs--the path between obstacles, inklings of an eddy against the slab shore, imagining the path I would take through the sparse rapids. This is the spot where I watched a guy a couple of years ago as he surfed in his white water kayak. . .what Evan and I did earlier in the week in a canoe on the Green River. Wished now that I had a boat so I could really see the route.
Got an idea for how I might use a stick, crepe paper and a fan to simulate a side view of the various currents. How else might I demo obstacles, river gradients, and eddy effects? Gotta get those presentations prepped!
Anna just called. We're not sure who's going to Zoar tomorrow. I think Beth and Evan are both teaching canoeing this week and next and that we students will drive together to Zoar.
Dug into the reading and planning on Friday after class and for the night. Have to stay a step ahead or I'll get sucked into a hole--a "highly aerated churning action." I'm reminded that I need to stay in shape to do this course. Hiked on Saturday up the south side of Mt. Holyoke to the Summit House, over Taylor's Notch and looped along paths to view Lithia Springs. We don't get much real exercise in OLP except when we're on trips or in the field. Went to the gym this morning and then back to the books. Walked down to the river by the dinosaur tracks to be both distracted from life and inspired by the river current and its slabs with prehistoric tracks. . . reminded of the Molly Baker article on Landfullness in Adventure Based Programming: Promoting Reconnection to the Land.
I thought ahead and wore my parka but didn't think about warmer pants. While I read about reading river current, I read the Connecticut's current as it rushed in front of me; smooth small pillows, upward Vs--dangerous, not to be confused with downward Vs--the path between obstacles, inklings of an eddy against the slab shore, imagining the path I would take through the sparse rapids. This is the spot where I watched a guy a couple of years ago as he surfed in his white water kayak. . .what Evan and I did earlier in the week in a canoe on the Green River. Wished now that I had a boat so I could really see the route.
Got an idea for how I might use a stick, crepe paper and a fan to simulate a side view of the various currents. How else might I demo obstacles, river gradients, and eddy effects? Gotta get those presentations prepped!
Anna just called. We're not sure who's going to Zoar tomorrow. I think Beth and Evan are both teaching canoeing this week and next and that we students will drive together to Zoar.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Kayaking Day 2
Friday, March 26, 2010
Arrived a few minutes late this morning because I had the brilliant idea of trying to change up my systems so I wouldn't be hauling so much. Seemed like a good idea. It wasn't. But I did finally use my Petzl carabiner to hold my water bottle to the boat decking.
Jen drove the van today and put in at a different location, technically in Montague. We had to carry for a distance. Coquette got stuck in the mud and it pulled her shoes off. Did a lot of talking about currents, wind, and white caps in combination with constriction. We planned for how we would cross in the bumpy conditions and how important it is to keep the pod together in anything other than calm water because the conditions can pull the group apart in seconds. Beth explained the importance of stopping your group even in tough conditions so that you can keep them grouped up. Mark will count this as especially important in his evaluation of us on the coastal kayaking trip in Maine.
We crossed finally and then went further up toward a beach where Beth could beach herself to take video of us crossing her path with various strokes. We watched and critiqued in the afternoon. I had a good momentum going but since we were supposed to be modeling strokes as though we were teaching an intro course, I should have been slower. My turn was also sloppy and I know now that I should be doing fewer strokes but longer sweeps that will truly impact the turn as I lean into the turn. Torso rotation is okay but could be improved if I push on the foot brace as I stroke.
Aaron took pictures of me trying to get in and out of my dry suit again. They were somewhat disappointed in that the show was shorter today. Coquette suggested putting powder in the gasket and it may have helped some. Still a trick getting out and I needed help.
Monday and Tuesday my group will be doing Kayaking again but this time with Zoar Outdoor. We have two days "off" and then expedition planning on Friday. The off days are to be used for job search and continued prep for certifications including more field presentations.
Arrived a few minutes late this morning because I had the brilliant idea of trying to change up my systems so I wouldn't be hauling so much. Seemed like a good idea. It wasn't. But I did finally use my Petzl carabiner to hold my water bottle to the boat decking.
Jen drove the van today and put in at a different location, technically in Montague. We had to carry for a distance. Coquette got stuck in the mud and it pulled her shoes off. Did a lot of talking about currents, wind, and white caps in combination with constriction. We planned for how we would cross in the bumpy conditions and how important it is to keep the pod together in anything other than calm water because the conditions can pull the group apart in seconds. Beth explained the importance of stopping your group even in tough conditions so that you can keep them grouped up. Mark will count this as especially important in his evaluation of us on the coastal kayaking trip in Maine.
We crossed finally and then went further up toward a beach where Beth could beach herself to take video of us crossing her path with various strokes. We watched and critiqued in the afternoon. I had a good momentum going but since we were supposed to be modeling strokes as though we were teaching an intro course, I should have been slower. My turn was also sloppy and I know now that I should be doing fewer strokes but longer sweeps that will truly impact the turn as I lean into the turn. Torso rotation is okay but could be improved if I push on the foot brace as I stroke.
Aaron took pictures of me trying to get in and out of my dry suit again. They were somewhat disappointed in that the show was shorter today. Coquette suggested putting powder in the gasket and it may have helped some. Still a trick getting out and I needed help.
Monday and Tuesday my group will be doing Kayaking again but this time with Zoar Outdoor. We have two days "off" and then expedition planning on Friday. The off days are to be used for job search and continued prep for certifications including more field presentations.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Kayaking at Barton Cove; Coastal Kayak Intro
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Beth hauled us and the kayaks out to Barton Cove sometime mid-morning using Austin's car. Unloaded at the boat ramp since there was no one there, otherwise, etiquette demands that we unload on the grass next to the boat ramp where honkin' vehicles unload their honkin' boats. We went over a lot of review, in the form of volunteers giving 5 minute or less talks to "novices" about the kayaks and how to enter a kayak. Fit in a working lunch while Beth talked in more detail about what to bring on the expedition which will be north of Booth Bay Harbor between a couple of islands. AND, it will be black fly season! I thought sure we'd miss that since it doesn't happen till summer down here. My excitement about the trip has just suffered a major blow in the expected comfort level. And, we're using tents rather than our bivys for some reason. We didn't get into a lot of detail yet. Talked about all the paraphernalia we'll need to jam into the kayaks including all our food and 5 gals of water each.
Time to get out on the water. Had an especially hard time getting my dry suit neck on over my head. Frustrating, especially when I know it's going to put us behind schedule. Then I got the boat with the screwed up foot pedals and had to mess with knotted straps and buckles. Beth thought it would be a good boat for me to start with and then I could move to one of the others. . . I actually preferred one of the others with more edge to it. Even more annoying, I was told that Beth and Aaron moved the easy kayak, most stable I guess, back to the trailer so I wouldn't choose it. Damn. She forgets that I did well in the fall with a boat she said would challenge me. I don't like her assumption that I would go for the easy boat. It's not like I take the easy way out. Then there's the damn skirt that I always need help getting on. Most everyone needed help with that today but most of them were using new skirts that needed 3 people to put on. And it was such a treat to cram myself into a kayak with my dry suit and bulky pfd.
Finally out on the water. Aaron volunteered to lead the group and had to let us know about traveling in a pod, where we were headed, assure communication, etc. Beth said it will be important for the trip and for the other leader who we have yet to meet but will join us on the trip. Aaron led us out toward the eagles nest but before we got there, the eagle landed within 100' of where we were and started eating whatever it had caught. She was beautiful and this was likely the closest any of us had ever been to an eagle. She took off eventually with the rest of her catch in her beak and then we saw her grab it with her claws in mid flight, circled the trees and dropped down into the nest.
At that point Beth suggested I volunteer to lead the next leg. We needed to travel in a pod again so I assigned a lead, sweep, and flanks since she's telling us we need to be less democratic and take on authoritative voices. We headed left to circle the island but pretty quickly saw that it was looking shallow and muddy in the distance. Beth said something about scouting and I jumped at that saying that Jen and I would scout and for Kristi to be leader in my absence (I remembered the fall scenario we were given where the lead fire fighter left the group and did not assign a replacement leader and some or all of them died because the group lost cohesion). I also suggested they run some drills or something. I realized that it was fairly lame the way I did it and should have been more clear for the whole group and more directive on what they should do. They carried on well anyway. Jen and I meanwhile were able to get pretty far but in 2" of water and flinging muck with our paddles, we turned back. If we didn't have spray skirts on, we could have portaged to the next area of water. Got back to the group, headed the other way and noticed that clouds had covered the sky and some rain sprinkled. Paddling was slow given the wind and we practiced lean and sweeps to the stern to make turns and to counter the weathercock. Eventually we ran out of time and had to paddle back so that we could practice wet exits, T-rescues, and self-rescues. We didn't have time for everyone to do them and I only rescued Kristi on a T-rescue. I struggled to pull the bow out of the water without flipping myself over. Beth says that, though counter intuitive, we are much more stable getting 2 hands on the boat rather than one. Kristi was saved. Everyone who got wet was freezing in the cold water. And then there was getting myself out of the dry suit neck that Aaron videoed. Tomorrow, Coquette and I get to do wet exit and self-rescue in the predicted rain, snow, and low 40 degrees. Joy.
All in all, I enjoyed being in the canoe on the river much more than the kayak on flat water. Okay, better days are comin' I'm sure. Lots to study and prep for kayaking and canoeing.
Beth hauled us and the kayaks out to Barton Cove sometime mid-morning using Austin's car. Unloaded at the boat ramp since there was no one there, otherwise, etiquette demands that we unload on the grass next to the boat ramp where honkin' vehicles unload their honkin' boats. We went over a lot of review, in the form of volunteers giving 5 minute or less talks to "novices" about the kayaks and how to enter a kayak. Fit in a working lunch while Beth talked in more detail about what to bring on the expedition which will be north of Booth Bay Harbor between a couple of islands. AND, it will be black fly season! I thought sure we'd miss that since it doesn't happen till summer down here. My excitement about the trip has just suffered a major blow in the expected comfort level. And, we're using tents rather than our bivys for some reason. We didn't get into a lot of detail yet. Talked about all the paraphernalia we'll need to jam into the kayaks including all our food and 5 gals of water each.
Time to get out on the water. Had an especially hard time getting my dry suit neck on over my head. Frustrating, especially when I know it's going to put us behind schedule. Then I got the boat with the screwed up foot pedals and had to mess with knotted straps and buckles. Beth thought it would be a good boat for me to start with and then I could move to one of the others. . . I actually preferred one of the others with more edge to it. Even more annoying, I was told that Beth and Aaron moved the easy kayak, most stable I guess, back to the trailer so I wouldn't choose it. Damn. She forgets that I did well in the fall with a boat she said would challenge me. I don't like her assumption that I would go for the easy boat. It's not like I take the easy way out. Then there's the damn skirt that I always need help getting on. Most everyone needed help with that today but most of them were using new skirts that needed 3 people to put on. And it was such a treat to cram myself into a kayak with my dry suit and bulky pfd.
Finally out on the water. Aaron volunteered to lead the group and had to let us know about traveling in a pod, where we were headed, assure communication, etc. Beth said it will be important for the trip and for the other leader who we have yet to meet but will join us on the trip. Aaron led us out toward the eagles nest but before we got there, the eagle landed within 100' of where we were and started eating whatever it had caught. She was beautiful and this was likely the closest any of us had ever been to an eagle. She took off eventually with the rest of her catch in her beak and then we saw her grab it with her claws in mid flight, circled the trees and dropped down into the nest.
At that point Beth suggested I volunteer to lead the next leg. We needed to travel in a pod again so I assigned a lead, sweep, and flanks since she's telling us we need to be less democratic and take on authoritative voices. We headed left to circle the island but pretty quickly saw that it was looking shallow and muddy in the distance. Beth said something about scouting and I jumped at that saying that Jen and I would scout and for Kristi to be leader in my absence (I remembered the fall scenario we were given where the lead fire fighter left the group and did not assign a replacement leader and some or all of them died because the group lost cohesion). I also suggested they run some drills or something. I realized that it was fairly lame the way I did it and should have been more clear for the whole group and more directive on what they should do. They carried on well anyway. Jen and I meanwhile were able to get pretty far but in 2" of water and flinging muck with our paddles, we turned back. If we didn't have spray skirts on, we could have portaged to the next area of water. Got back to the group, headed the other way and noticed that clouds had covered the sky and some rain sprinkled. Paddling was slow given the wind and we practiced lean and sweeps to the stern to make turns and to counter the weathercock. Eventually we ran out of time and had to paddle back so that we could practice wet exits, T-rescues, and self-rescues. We didn't have time for everyone to do them and I only rescued Kristi on a T-rescue. I struggled to pull the bow out of the water without flipping myself over. Beth says that, though counter intuitive, we are much more stable getting 2 hands on the boat rather than one. Kristi was saved. Everyone who got wet was freezing in the cold water. And then there was getting myself out of the dry suit neck that Aaron videoed. Tomorrow, Coquette and I get to do wet exit and self-rescue in the predicted rain, snow, and low 40 degrees. Joy.
All in all, I enjoyed being in the canoe on the river much more than the kayak on flat water. Okay, better days are comin' I'm sure. Lots to study and prep for kayaking and canoeing.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
White Water Canoe Instruction: Day 2
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Started the day in the classroom. Kate assigned our 20 minute and 5 minute presentation topics that will be requested randomly when we next meet to continue the course in a week or two. My 20 minute was "Canoe Types: Design and Construction." Thinking that it wasn't going to help me directly to get back my confidence on the river, I asked for a new topic. I now have "Fundamentals of River Current" which feels more pertinent to my own learning to actually get back on the water. We'll need to submit an outline of the presentation that will be submitted to the ACA in conjunction with our exam and certification.
Next we looked at the American White Water site to get information about how the local rivers are running. Evan and Kate had already decided that they would find an appropriate location on the Green River where we could practice drills. Evan also asked if anyone was having concerns about going out given that a man died on the Green River last week in roughly the same area they were taking us. Apparently he was an experienced paddler but was caught in a strainer and died. He figured someone may have it on their mind so better to talk about it. I said that I would need to balance my heightened concern with the need to find my confidence again.
Next, we were treated to the videos that Evan made yesterday as we practiced certain maneuvers. It was fun to review and see what we were doing right or wrong. Then, out to the boathouse. I was driving the van and trailer today--yay, more experience! We followed Evan who drove his truck and led us down a dirt road to the Green River, not far from the college. We unloaded and Jen and Evan drove the van and truck down the road for shuttle placement. While they were gone, Kate reviewed various river signs that we learned on the Raquette River trip in September and are more a vague memory for me that I need to revive.
We did buddy checks of our pfds and dry suit zippers, then Kate and I buddied up for the morning run as sweep, assuring that no one is left behind. We stowed our gear and ourselves, knelt on the pads, folded our feet under the seat and slid into the thigh straps which are new this time around. I took the bow and we slid out into the current. Haven't felt this ride since September--6 months ago! We practiced strokes, watched for hazards, and worked the angle I need to plant my paddle that will turn us into eddys, then switched positions so I'd get time in the stern. I'm much more comfortable in the bow but need to work on my J and other strokes in the stern if I'm going to be certified. Kate is a knowledgeable instructor and a huge cheerleader and she makes me feel confident and capable. At one point we were paddling and Kate kicked us into high paddle gear. I saw Aaron and Coquette on opposite sides of the river without their boat. Since they looked okay, Kate said she wanted to help Evan. We were wompin' but I wasn't sure what the goal was. Evan had the runaway boat in tow but Kate was steering us straight for it and pushing me to paddle hard. About 2 strokes from the overturned boat I yelled, "Are we doing a bump. . . ?" Yep, we did a bump rescue. We kept paddling hard to repeatedly bump the boat to the shore. We were told that boats often get loose again because there's nowhere for the swimmer to get up on shore and, in the struggle, the boat floats off again. Not the case this time.
We all gathered for lunch and laughs while the sun, especially welcome given the chilly wind, jumped in and out of the clouds. We switched boat positions for the next run and Evan and I paired up while Kate took the solo boat. Evan got us sliding into eddies right and left, pushing me to work my plant of my paddle just over the eddy line and lean into the turn--awkward as you paddle on the opposite side but crucial to making the boat turn upriver in the eddy. He told me I have an instinct for what I need to do and that I need to stop thinking about what the proper stroke is. Just go with it. He kept bouncing us from one maneuver or eddy to another so I wouldn't have time to think. It was fun and what I needed. Eventually we switched so I had to work the stern Js and sweeps. Along the way he asked if I wanted to surf the white water behind a large rock. We paddled straight up below it and then I had to do Js or small sweeps or corrections to keep the boat straight and in-line with the rock and just ride the wave. Evan would either stroke forward or back depending on how close we were to the rock. We wanted to be just below it but not touching. It was pretty cool and I remember watching a guy do that on the Connecticut in his tiny white water kayak. Evan says you can sit there for hours and watch the wave in a meditative way. Eventually we bowed out so others could take a shot at it. Aaron switched out with Kate so he could try the new solo but he said it was killing his ankles after a while. It does take time for ankles to become weight worthy after you uncurl and try to stand.
We had some fun waves to play with and I talked with Evan about the river so I could clarify some things for my presentation next week. Eventually we came to the van and went ashore and loaded the trailer. I missed the loading so that Evan and I could drive back and get his truck. Kate was good at directions and helped me backup to the trailer so it could be hitched up. Finally got to back the trailer in at the boathouse and it's a lot harder to accomplish than you'd think. . . and I was trying to miss the mud holes. I remembered backing up Ed's toy trucks as a kid. I had it down.
All in all, good practice and good fun.
Started the day in the classroom. Kate assigned our 20 minute and 5 minute presentation topics that will be requested randomly when we next meet to continue the course in a week or two. My 20 minute was "Canoe Types: Design and Construction." Thinking that it wasn't going to help me directly to get back my confidence on the river, I asked for a new topic. I now have "Fundamentals of River Current" which feels more pertinent to my own learning to actually get back on the water. We'll need to submit an outline of the presentation that will be submitted to the ACA in conjunction with our exam and certification.
Next we looked at the American White Water site to get information about how the local rivers are running. Evan and Kate had already decided that they would find an appropriate location on the Green River where we could practice drills. Evan also asked if anyone was having concerns about going out given that a man died on the Green River last week in roughly the same area they were taking us. Apparently he was an experienced paddler but was caught in a strainer and died. He figured someone may have it on their mind so better to talk about it. I said that I would need to balance my heightened concern with the need to find my confidence again.
Next, we were treated to the videos that Evan made yesterday as we practiced certain maneuvers. It was fun to review and see what we were doing right or wrong. Then, out to the boathouse. I was driving the van and trailer today--yay, more experience! We followed Evan who drove his truck and led us down a dirt road to the Green River, not far from the college. We unloaded and Jen and Evan drove the van and truck down the road for shuttle placement. While they were gone, Kate reviewed various river signs that we learned on the Raquette River trip in September and are more a vague memory for me that I need to revive.
We did buddy checks of our pfds and dry suit zippers, then Kate and I buddied up for the morning run as sweep, assuring that no one is left behind. We stowed our gear and ourselves, knelt on the pads, folded our feet under the seat and slid into the thigh straps which are new this time around. I took the bow and we slid out into the current. Haven't felt this ride since September--6 months ago! We practiced strokes, watched for hazards, and worked the angle I need to plant my paddle that will turn us into eddys, then switched positions so I'd get time in the stern. I'm much more comfortable in the bow but need to work on my J and other strokes in the stern if I'm going to be certified. Kate is a knowledgeable instructor and a huge cheerleader and she makes me feel confident and capable. At one point we were paddling and Kate kicked us into high paddle gear. I saw Aaron and Coquette on opposite sides of the river without their boat. Since they looked okay, Kate said she wanted to help Evan. We were wompin' but I wasn't sure what the goal was. Evan had the runaway boat in tow but Kate was steering us straight for it and pushing me to paddle hard. About 2 strokes from the overturned boat I yelled, "Are we doing a bump. . . ?" Yep, we did a bump rescue. We kept paddling hard to repeatedly bump the boat to the shore. We were told that boats often get loose again because there's nowhere for the swimmer to get up on shore and, in the struggle, the boat floats off again. Not the case this time.
We all gathered for lunch and laughs while the sun, especially welcome given the chilly wind, jumped in and out of the clouds. We switched boat positions for the next run and Evan and I paired up while Kate took the solo boat. Evan got us sliding into eddies right and left, pushing me to work my plant of my paddle just over the eddy line and lean into the turn--awkward as you paddle on the opposite side but crucial to making the boat turn upriver in the eddy. He told me I have an instinct for what I need to do and that I need to stop thinking about what the proper stroke is. Just go with it. He kept bouncing us from one maneuver or eddy to another so I wouldn't have time to think. It was fun and what I needed. Eventually we switched so I had to work the stern Js and sweeps. Along the way he asked if I wanted to surf the white water behind a large rock. We paddled straight up below it and then I had to do Js or small sweeps or corrections to keep the boat straight and in-line with the rock and just ride the wave. Evan would either stroke forward or back depending on how close we were to the rock. We wanted to be just below it but not touching. It was pretty cool and I remember watching a guy do that on the Connecticut in his tiny white water kayak. Evan says you can sit there for hours and watch the wave in a meditative way. Eventually we bowed out so others could take a shot at it. Aaron switched out with Kate so he could try the new solo but he said it was killing his ankles after a while. It does take time for ankles to become weight worthy after you uncurl and try to stand.
We had some fun waves to play with and I talked with Evan about the river so I could clarify some things for my presentation next week. Eventually we came to the van and went ashore and loaded the trailer. I missed the loading so that Evan and I could drive back and get his truck. Kate was good at directions and helped me backup to the trailer so it could be hitched up. Finally got to back the trailer in at the boathouse and it's a lot harder to accomplish than you'd think. . . and I was trying to miss the mud holes. I remembered backing up Ed's toy trucks as a kid. I had it down.
All in all, good practice and good fun.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
White Water Canoe Instruction: Drying Out My Dry Suit
Monday, March 23, 2010
The class has split up for canoe and kayak instruction. Evan and Kate are teaching canoe and Beth and Mark (haven't met him yet) are teaching kayak. Our canoe group is me, Anna, Aaron, Coquette, Erin, Jen, and Kristi. We all went to Barton Cove today but tomorrow we'll check the ACA American Canoe Association site apparently to see where the river levels are at.
We started in class with a lecture and then loaded up the boats, distributed helmets and paddles, and I said I'd like to hitch up the trailer since I flunked it in assessments. I also did the light check but Kate suggested I not bother with the front and just scope out the trailer. . . sigh, this ain't a state inspection. I can be such a dork. Anna had never driven the van with a trailer so took a shot today. I offered to drive tomorrow.
Got to the Cove, untied and portaged down to the water and then ate a quick lunch. I took a quick run into the woods for a bio break but was unable to unzip the optional drop-seat that I spent extra bucks for just so I could be speedy. Thankfully we had only pulled the suits half-way up so I could just pull it down. It does seem to take 2 people to help you get into these things. We have layers underneath for warmth and then the dry suit which has gaskets at arms, ankles, and a choke hold on the neck. The trick seems to be to get both arms in and then grab hold of the neck gasket and just push, pull, and yank the gasket over your head and don't give up. . . unless it's pulling your hair. I tried pulling it on over a hat and it helped some. There were moments of potential panic except that others were cheering me on so I knew I wasn't alone and stuck inside a rubber casing. Then you have to wrestle with the chest zipper. These zippers are like nothing I've seen before. Industrial strength is an understatement. All day at least a few of us would be periodically pulling the gasket away from our throats so we could breathe properly. Getting out of them is as much fun.
I learned more lessons then planned today. We did some review from the strokes we learned in the fall and added on some new ones. It's all so technical and we were taped so we can watch some of what we did and how to correct or applaud ourselves! Then we did the T-rescues again and all took turns in the different roles. When Anna and I were the dunkees, we flipped over the canoe and waited to be rescued. While floating in the water, I suddenly felt a finger of cold tracing down my torso. Oh, no! I had not completely zipped my chest zipper. When I pulled and yanked, it had stopped but apparently I hadn't hit the real stop. It still had about a 1/4" to go but it's difficult to see where the zippers begin and end. So, get more help to dress for success!
Tomorrow we come in half hour early and we'll watch today's video and then head out on a river yet to be determined. Lots of lessons from the Raquette River trip to bring back to the fore.
The class has split up for canoe and kayak instruction. Evan and Kate are teaching canoe and Beth and Mark (haven't met him yet) are teaching kayak. Our canoe group is me, Anna, Aaron, Coquette, Erin, Jen, and Kristi. We all went to Barton Cove today but tomorrow we'll check the ACA American Canoe Association site apparently to see where the river levels are at.
We started in class with a lecture and then loaded up the boats, distributed helmets and paddles, and I said I'd like to hitch up the trailer since I flunked it in assessments. I also did the light check but Kate suggested I not bother with the front and just scope out the trailer. . . sigh, this ain't a state inspection. I can be such a dork. Anna had never driven the van with a trailer so took a shot today. I offered to drive tomorrow.
Got to the Cove, untied and portaged down to the water and then ate a quick lunch. I took a quick run into the woods for a bio break but was unable to unzip the optional drop-seat that I spent extra bucks for just so I could be speedy. Thankfully we had only pulled the suits half-way up so I could just pull it down. It does seem to take 2 people to help you get into these things. We have layers underneath for warmth and then the dry suit which has gaskets at arms, ankles, and a choke hold on the neck. The trick seems to be to get both arms in and then grab hold of the neck gasket and just push, pull, and yank the gasket over your head and don't give up. . . unless it's pulling your hair. I tried pulling it on over a hat and it helped some. There were moments of potential panic except that others were cheering me on so I knew I wasn't alone and stuck inside a rubber casing. Then you have to wrestle with the chest zipper. These zippers are like nothing I've seen before. Industrial strength is an understatement. All day at least a few of us would be periodically pulling the gasket away from our throats so we could breathe properly. Getting out of them is as much fun.
I learned more lessons then planned today. We did some review from the strokes we learned in the fall and added on some new ones. It's all so technical and we were taped so we can watch some of what we did and how to correct or applaud ourselves! Then we did the T-rescues again and all took turns in the different roles. When Anna and I were the dunkees, we flipped over the canoe and waited to be rescued. While floating in the water, I suddenly felt a finger of cold tracing down my torso. Oh, no! I had not completely zipped my chest zipper. When I pulled and yanked, it had stopped but apparently I hadn't hit the real stop. It still had about a 1/4" to go but it's difficult to see where the zippers begin and end. So, get more help to dress for success!
Tomorrow we come in half hour early and we'll watch today's video and then head out on a river yet to be determined. Lots of lessons from the Raquette River trip to bring back to the fore.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Present Independent Projects
Monday, March 22, 2010
Today was presentation day for Independent Projects. They all went well. Mine was "Blogging in Experiential Education." I forgot to sign up last week so was last. Not a great place to be because by then people are fried. Also, prospective students arrived for the Information Session so I had to rush and leave out my own blog and a few other things. But IT'S DONE!
Went out after with Kristi, Katy, and Coquette to grab a beer but since I'm a lightweight drinker and had to drive, I got a root beer and turkey dinner--famished. Stopped at the store for lunch food, etc. for the week.
Home and prepping for tomorrow. Haul the dry suit and PFD out of the box and into my duffel along with extra clothes and all the things we should have as professionals. Tomorrow and Wednesday I have white water canoeing then Thursday and Friday coastal kayaking. . . plan on being in the water in the rain and cold. Trying to muster a big "Yay!"
Today was presentation day for Independent Projects. They all went well. Mine was "Blogging in Experiential Education." I forgot to sign up last week so was last. Not a great place to be because by then people are fried. Also, prospective students arrived for the Information Session so I had to rush and leave out my own blog and a few other things. But IT'S DONE!
Went out after with Kristi, Katy, and Coquette to grab a beer but since I'm a lightweight drinker and had to drive, I got a root beer and turkey dinner--famished. Stopped at the store for lunch food, etc. for the week.
Home and prepping for tomorrow. Haul the dry suit and PFD out of the box and into my duffel along with extra clothes and all the things we should have as professionals. Tomorrow and Wednesday I have white water canoeing then Thursday and Friday coastal kayaking. . . plan on being in the water in the rain and cold. Trying to muster a big "Yay!"
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Independent Project--11th Hour
Sunday, March 21, 2010
What a gorgeous weekend--and I spent most of it inside finishing my independent project, "Blogging in Experiential Education." I had planned to finish it in January but didn't. I started it in the fall and I've been working on it fairly steadily since early February. Last week I didn't connect the dots and ended up leaving the latest copy of my power point on a computer lab desktop. Realized it on Friday afternoon of Break week. . . like anyone would be around at that time. I finished the written portion this weekend but didn't include anything of my blog which I've been writing since September. I'm trying to recreate something I can refer to tomorrow for my presentation. Worst case, it's 15 minutes in my life and then it's over. I like this practice of not panicking over imperfection.
Tomorrow, we all present our projects. Rest of the week we're doing white water canoeing and sea kayak instruction. It's finally time to pull the dry suit out of its box! The temp is supposed to revert to the 40s. Damn.
What a gorgeous weekend--and I spent most of it inside finishing my independent project, "Blogging in Experiential Education." I had planned to finish it in January but didn't. I started it in the fall and I've been working on it fairly steadily since early February. Last week I didn't connect the dots and ended up leaving the latest copy of my power point on a computer lab desktop. Realized it on Friday afternoon of Break week. . . like anyone would be around at that time. I finished the written portion this weekend but didn't include anything of my blog which I've been writing since September. I'm trying to recreate something I can refer to tomorrow for my presentation. Worst case, it's 15 minutes in my life and then it's over. I like this practice of not panicking over imperfection.
Tomorrow, we all present our projects. Rest of the week we're doing white water canoeing and sea kayak instruction. It's finally time to pull the dry suit out of its box! The temp is supposed to revert to the 40s. Damn.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Practitioner Challenge Course Field Work
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
After spending Monday and Tuesday planning our field work for the GHS Collaborative Education Group (same group we had for canoeing with an unplanned capsize in the fall), today we put it all together. We is me, Ian, Joe, Kristi, and Marc and we met at 8 am and set up the course. We were asked to work on team and trust building with the group so chose our games and initiatives for that purpose.
The group of 9, plus their teacher Ms. Mount, arrived at 9:15 am and we started with the Warp Speed name game. Marc filled in because Ian wasn't feeling well and eventually went home. Joe presented the introduction to the day and got the group to talk about goals and to share personal goals with a partner. Tony told me that he came here to have fun and to do all the elements, especially the Giant Swing. I broke the news that we weren't running the GS but that we were running the Cat Walk and the Multi-Vine. (Logistically it worked best for us since they were next to each other.) We also let them know that Beth would be observing us as students and taking notes for our evaluations.
I ran the "Wolf Pack" energizer game and my goal was to get them to let loose and howl from their bellies. It took some doing but some of them slowly let the "too cool" factor go and howled. They also began to communicate and strategize. Then I talked about the 5 Finger Contract, a value contract that they will abide by while they are together. I took heat in my eval for making everyone wonder where I was going with discussion of the middle finger of the contract! Kristi talked about safety and Challenge By Choice--you choose your goals but your goals should always move you out of your comfort zone. That is where you find your growth, here and in life. You may not walk the Catwalk but there are other ways to participate as back-up belayers and anchors. They all rotate and take turns. Kristi and I did a spotting demo and when we had students practice, at least one student owned that he didn't feel comfortable falling back, even though it was more like a 2" lean, "because I have trust issues." Good that he knew it and stated it.
Marc led the Trolley initiative which took some doing though Amanda proved a good leader and held her own when the boys started blaming her for failures. With some communicating and good debriefing, including input from Beth, we headed up to the low ropes doing a Trust Walk on the route. The Trust Walk required one person to close their eyes and trust their partner to lead them verbally up the path. The group was warned that this was not a time for practical jokes but was a time to develop trustworthiness and get their partner there safely and comfortably. We had them switch roles half way up. It seemed to work well except for the two girls in the group who wore sunglasses, pretended to close their eyes and would periodically say watch out for the branch. Kristi busted them sweetly.
We arrived at the low ropes and Joe led the Log Walk initiative. Ian was supposed to lead the Lord of the Rings element but since he wasn't with us and we were running behind schedule, we talked amongst ourselves and decided to skip that piece and have lunch at the shed. The students knew they were headed to the high ropes at some point and did well all morning to stick with us as we prepped them in proper sequence for the challenges and promptings of the team and trust building.
Now it's time for the high ropes. Marc showed them how to put on helmets and harnesses and then the group split up according to interest. Kristi and I ran the Cat Walk and Marc and Joe ran the Multi-Vine. We took turns belaying, going through the safety check with the climber and making sure that we had a student anchor, back-up belayer, and ladder spotter. Miss Mount was the first to walk the Cat Walk and then she spent time taking pictures and cheering on her students. Both elements have a shared end point so students started waiting for each other to High 5 before belaying down. It took some doing for a few of them because they had to reach out to each other rather than hold on to their rope.
One of the times I belayed, the climber was heavier than me and as I belayed him to the ground, I could feel myself rise to my toes and then lift off the ground. I was looking around for my anchor who had become distracted and had let go of my harness. Called back to duty, he saw the necessity and purpose for his job as he pulled me back to the ground.
The best part of the day is supporting the kids so they are willing to take the calculated risk and move out of their comfort zones. I could identify with anyone who felt fearful about climbing and walking the beam. I watched Beth work with one student who wanted to go but was terrified of heights and I found it a thing of beauty. She is so accomplished at what she does. Arm over his shoulder, she kept asking "What are you afraid of?" Finally they got to the crux--dying. She took him from that acknowledgment to the reasoning of knowing that the gear is all safe. He will be safe because we have double checked everything. Then she talked about his butterflies. "You won't get rid of the butterflies in your stomach but you can make them fly in formation." Mind over fear. His choice. He climbed the ladder almost completely. It was a huge step for him. One student was comfortable enough that I suggested he walk back to the start and do it again. Then I suggested he do it with his eyes closed. Finding the ways to challenge someone so that they feel accomplishment is the goal.
Finally we had a debrief with the students to determine what they thought of their day. Did they see ways in which they had built a team and trust with each other? Did they challenge themselves by choice? They appeared to be psyched by the day so we'll take that as success. After finishing short evaluations the group headed out.
We broke down the course while Beth finished her evaluations and then she had us debrief as the instructor group. We started by reading the evaluations from the group and everyone seemed pretty happy with their experience. She then threw out 3 pads; Go, Slow, Stop and we had to give self-feedback and hear group feedback. Kristi went first, then Joe, Marc, and me. Giving criticism, no matter how constructive, is always a big challenge for me. I don't do it well and it's one of my hardest learnings given that I grew up on, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." A late bloomer in processing, I had to do it today because there were issues between me and one of my co-leaders and there was no way around or out of it. We had started a conversation in the morning to try to mend things but got interrupted and never finished. The class as a whole has run into issues in the planning process which is inherently challenging for most of us. We all want to learn, do our best, and contribute but many of us usually feel that hasn't happened and correcting it has been a common goal for the next trip or field work planning. But with so many people with similar goals and so little time, it's a challenge. And, when I get frustrated I tend to shut down which is not productive for anyone. In this case, we were both triggering something in each other and other things came up during the day so it needed airing. Beth was very helpful in getting us through it. She suggested we keep working on it because we both have something to teach each other. A friend told me to think of this person as my Buddha. . . my teacher. That may carry us and help us to keep perspective and lightness to our learning rather than get mired in the muck. We talked the next day about how we feel triggered and why--who we are reminded of. That part of the conversation was successful. Some of it seemed like we just spun in circles and at some point you need to just pull out of the station and move on. I appreciated the acknowledgment that we like each other personally and that it's an issue around working together. That's important to remember along with the awareness of why we feel triggered.
The learning continues.
After spending Monday and Tuesday planning our field work for the GHS Collaborative Education Group (same group we had for canoeing with an unplanned capsize in the fall), today we put it all together. We is me, Ian, Joe, Kristi, and Marc and we met at 8 am and set up the course. We were asked to work on team and trust building with the group so chose our games and initiatives for that purpose.
The group of 9, plus their teacher Ms. Mount, arrived at 9:15 am and we started with the Warp Speed name game. Marc filled in because Ian wasn't feeling well and eventually went home. Joe presented the introduction to the day and got the group to talk about goals and to share personal goals with a partner. Tony told me that he came here to have fun and to do all the elements, especially the Giant Swing. I broke the news that we weren't running the GS but that we were running the Cat Walk and the Multi-Vine. (Logistically it worked best for us since they were next to each other.) We also let them know that Beth would be observing us as students and taking notes for our evaluations.
Marc led the Trolley initiative which took some doing though Amanda proved a good leader and held her own when the boys started blaming her for failures. With some communicating and good debriefing, including input from Beth, we headed up to the low ropes doing a Trust Walk on the route. The Trust Walk required one person to close their eyes and trust their partner to lead them verbally up the path. The group was warned that this was not a time for practical jokes but was a time to develop trustworthiness and get their partner there safely and comfortably. We had them switch roles half way up. It seemed to work well except for the two girls in the group who wore sunglasses, pretended to close their eyes and would periodically say watch out for the branch. Kristi busted them sweetly.
We arrived at the low ropes and Joe led the Log Walk initiative. Ian was supposed to lead the Lord of the Rings element but since he wasn't with us and we were running behind schedule, we talked amongst ourselves and decided to skip that piece and have lunch at the shed. The students knew they were headed to the high ropes at some point and did well all morning to stick with us as we prepped them in proper sequence for the challenges and promptings of the team and trust building.
Now it's time for the high ropes. Marc showed them how to put on helmets and harnesses and then the group split up according to interest. Kristi and I ran the Cat Walk and Marc and Joe ran the Multi-Vine. We took turns belaying, going through the safety check with the climber and making sure that we had a student anchor, back-up belayer, and ladder spotter. Miss Mount was the first to walk the Cat Walk and then she spent time taking pictures and cheering on her students. Both elements have a shared end point so students started waiting for each other to High 5 before belaying down. It took some doing for a few of them because they had to reach out to each other rather than hold on to their rope.
One of the times I belayed, the climber was heavier than me and as I belayed him to the ground, I could feel myself rise to my toes and then lift off the ground. I was looking around for my anchor who had become distracted and had let go of my harness. Called back to duty, he saw the necessity and purpose for his job as he pulled me back to the ground. The best part of the day is supporting the kids so they are willing to take the calculated risk and move out of their comfort zones. I could identify with anyone who felt fearful about climbing and walking the beam. I watched Beth work with one student who wanted to go but was terrified of heights and I found it a thing of beauty. She is so accomplished at what she does. Arm over his shoulder, she kept asking "What are you afraid of?" Finally they got to the crux--dying. She took him from that acknowledgment to the reasoning of knowing that the gear is all safe. He will be safe because we have double checked everything. Then she talked about his butterflies. "You won't get rid of the butterflies in your stomach but you can make them fly in formation." Mind over fear. His choice. He climbed the ladder almost completely. It was a huge step for him. One student was comfortable enough that I suggested he walk back to the start and do it again. Then I suggested he do it with his eyes closed. Finding the ways to challenge someone so that they feel accomplishment is the goal.
We broke down the course while Beth finished her evaluations and then she had us debrief as the instructor group. We started by reading the evaluations from the group and everyone seemed pretty happy with their experience. She then threw out 3 pads; Go, Slow, Stop and we had to give self-feedback and hear group feedback. Kristi went first, then Joe, Marc, and me. Giving criticism, no matter how constructive, is always a big challenge for me. I don't do it well and it's one of my hardest learnings given that I grew up on, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." A late bloomer in processing, I had to do it today because there were issues between me and one of my co-leaders and there was no way around or out of it. We had started a conversation in the morning to try to mend things but got interrupted and never finished. The class as a whole has run into issues in the planning process which is inherently challenging for most of us. We all want to learn, do our best, and contribute but many of us usually feel that hasn't happened and correcting it has been a common goal for the next trip or field work planning. But with so many people with similar goals and so little time, it's a challenge. And, when I get frustrated I tend to shut down which is not productive for anyone. In this case, we were both triggering something in each other and other things came up during the day so it needed airing. Beth was very helpful in getting us through it. She suggested we keep working on it because we both have something to teach each other. A friend told me to think of this person as my Buddha. . . my teacher. That may carry us and help us to keep perspective and lightness to our learning rather than get mired in the muck. We talked the next day about how we feel triggered and why--who we are reminded of. That part of the conversation was successful. Some of it seemed like we just spun in circles and at some point you need to just pull out of the station and move on. I appreciated the acknowledgment that we like each other personally and that it's an issue around working together. That's important to remember along with the awareness of why we feel triggered.The learning continues.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
On Break
Sunday, March 14, 2010
We were on Break this past week. It was packed. Still working on my Independent Project, job search has started but have lots of research to do, found a couple of cleaning jobs, visited Fran a couple of times, got the last of my Hep B shots for school, did a few organizing things that have been getting out of control, and finished a few nagging to-dos that wouldn't get done if I didn't get them done this past week.
Upcoming week is Eco Challenge Field Work. The eco is navigation with compass and map with something else to it but I'm not yet sure what that is. I think we may also be doing Challenge Course Field Work. The following Monday our IPs are due and the rest of the week and the following week we'll be doing Sea Kayak Instruction and White Water Canoe Instruction. Glad I've got my dry suit!
We were on Break this past week. It was packed. Still working on my Independent Project, job search has started but have lots of research to do, found a couple of cleaning jobs, visited Fran a couple of times, got the last of my Hep B shots for school, did a few organizing things that have been getting out of control, and finished a few nagging to-dos that wouldn't get done if I didn't get them done this past week.
Upcoming week is Eco Challenge Field Work. The eco is navigation with compass and map with something else to it but I'm not yet sure what that is. I think we may also be doing Challenge Course Field Work. The following Monday our IPs are due and the rest of the week and the following week we'll be doing Sea Kayak Instruction and White Water Canoe Instruction. Glad I've got my dry suit!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
High 5's Practioner Symposium: Diablos, Frayed Ropes, Chip's Polar Dip
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Carpooled with Anna and Katy to Brattleboro for the High 5 Practitioner Symposium.
The workshop schedule was, like most, a conflict of events I wanted to attend. I chose Troy Wunderle of Wunderle’s Big Top Adventures: An Adventure Circus for my first workshop. He mentioned laughter and joy and I thought it would be a good way to start the day. He said the two workshops he was running that day would go the way of the group. Ours started with shell game kinds of activities which hurt my brain. I took notes so that I might actually replicate them but we'll see. I also tried a couple of juggling tricks, the diablo and the scarves. I was surprised that I did decently with the diablo, nothing fancy but kept it spinning and was able to right it a few times when it started to tip. Troy left us with the following words by an unknown author:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
The 2nd workshop I chose was Jim Grout and Chris Ortiz: Good Judgment: The Ultimate Facilitator Skill. Jim is the director of High 5 and Chris is a main cog. I met them briefly in Montreal at the AEE Conference because their booth was next to our OLP booth. I was the only student in the group but I felt confident in the discussion having just finished our week of challenge course training. They started by passing around 2 damaged ropes with obvious tears in the sheath and pieces of the core could be seen. We had to rate their continued reliability on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst. Most people said 1, there were a few 0s, and after much discussion about whether we should use 0, I said 1 or 0 not to be misconstrued as 10. Incredibly, we heard a couple of 2s. One of the ropes was brand new and had been used for a 1 day Pamper Pole event. The facilitator was shocked when they saw the rope at the end of the day and brought it to High 5 for assessment. High 5 ran the rope up again to check the cut points and could only assume that the rope had twisted early in the day and that no one did the ABC (Above, Belayer, Construction) site check throughout the day. The damage speaks to the strength of the rope but the risk was incredible.
The next topic was the pitfalls of 2nd generation in-house training. Rarely, they said, is the same amount of time allocated for the training when someone brings the information home, and with change in personnel, the information can become 3rd and 4th generation pretty quickly. The experience and knowledge is diluted thus the 2nd generation trainers and the training are likely inadequate.
Next up was "Do gri-gris make belaying safer?" Petzl recommends a minimum of 2.5 - 3 hours of practice before being left on one's own to belay. Also in question was the misunderstanding that when something is noted as "auto" there is a perception of ultimate safety which is not the case.
The final topic was a scenario where an elementary school wants to bring 35 kids to a high elements course from 9am-5pm. They have a limited budget and want to have some teachers belay to cut the cost. Rather than an all out NO, it was suggested to start a dialogue about their goals and how to achieve them. They would then demonstrate how teachers belaying won't save money because there will still need to be enough staff to watch the teachers. . .even if the teachers are experienced belayers. The ultimate responsibility is with the provider.
Instead of a 3rd round of workshops, because it's their 10th anniversary, we did a snow challenge course. The daytime activities culminated in the Chip Invitational Polar Dip, named after Chip who used to work at High 5 but was killed in a car accident a few years ago. Polar Dip or Polar Plunge is that crazy event where crazy people jump into a hole cut out of the ice in a pond or lake--no skinny dipping here. You have to have a few screws loose. My screws must have been bouncing around because I jumped! I hadn't planned on it but have been carrying enough extra clothing in my pack that I was able to immediately change from my wet clothes into dry. Someone lent me a pair of Tevas for my feet, someone else a towel. Katy opted out but Anna and I were going for it. Anna had nothing on her feet so I picked her up for all of 10 seconds to keep her bare feet off the snow. It was our turn and we stood near the edge, held hands, and counted fast. I felt a slight hesitation but Anna was committing so in we jumped! That's the way to do it--commit! Her bare feet probably helped, too. The water was only chest deep and though I thought I folded up enough, my head didn't go under all the way. But damn, you stand up fast. I remember shaking my hands as I gasped like I was trying to shake the freeze off me. Someone held out a hand and helped me out. I changed into my thick fleece pants and lots of warm layers. Exhilarating. Something I never expected to do. I'm so grateful that I can grab these opportunities. Live life fully. Hopefully we'll see some pictures soon.
Carpooled with Anna and Katy to Brattleboro for the High 5 Practitioner Symposium.
The workshop schedule was, like most, a conflict of events I wanted to attend. I chose Troy Wunderle of Wunderle’s Big Top Adventures: An Adventure Circus for my first workshop. He mentioned laughter and joy and I thought it would be a good way to start the day. He said the two workshops he was running that day would go the way of the group. Ours started with shell game kinds of activities which hurt my brain. I took notes so that I might actually replicate them but we'll see. I also tried a couple of juggling tricks, the diablo and the scarves. I was surprised that I did decently with the diablo, nothing fancy but kept it spinning and was able to right it a few times when it started to tip. Troy left us with the following words by an unknown author:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
The 2nd workshop I chose was Jim Grout and Chris Ortiz: Good Judgment: The Ultimate Facilitator Skill. Jim is the director of High 5 and Chris is a main cog. I met them briefly in Montreal at the AEE Conference because their booth was next to our OLP booth. I was the only student in the group but I felt confident in the discussion having just finished our week of challenge course training. They started by passing around 2 damaged ropes with obvious tears in the sheath and pieces of the core could be seen. We had to rate their continued reliability on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst. Most people said 1, there were a few 0s, and after much discussion about whether we should use 0, I said 1 or 0 not to be misconstrued as 10. Incredibly, we heard a couple of 2s. One of the ropes was brand new and had been used for a 1 day Pamper Pole event. The facilitator was shocked when they saw the rope at the end of the day and brought it to High 5 for assessment. High 5 ran the rope up again to check the cut points and could only assume that the rope had twisted early in the day and that no one did the ABC (Above, Belayer, Construction) site check throughout the day. The damage speaks to the strength of the rope but the risk was incredible.
The next topic was the pitfalls of 2nd generation in-house training. Rarely, they said, is the same amount of time allocated for the training when someone brings the information home, and with change in personnel, the information can become 3rd and 4th generation pretty quickly. The experience and knowledge is diluted thus the 2nd generation trainers and the training are likely inadequate.
Next up was "Do gri-gris make belaying safer?" Petzl recommends a minimum of 2.5 - 3 hours of practice before being left on one's own to belay. Also in question was the misunderstanding that when something is noted as "auto" there is a perception of ultimate safety which is not the case.
The final topic was a scenario where an elementary school wants to bring 35 kids to a high elements course from 9am-5pm. They have a limited budget and want to have some teachers belay to cut the cost. Rather than an all out NO, it was suggested to start a dialogue about their goals and how to achieve them. They would then demonstrate how teachers belaying won't save money because there will still need to be enough staff to watch the teachers. . .even if the teachers are experienced belayers. The ultimate responsibility is with the provider.
Instead of a 3rd round of workshops, because it's their 10th anniversary, we did a snow challenge course. The daytime activities culminated in the Chip Invitational Polar Dip, named after Chip who used to work at High 5 but was killed in a car accident a few years ago. Polar Dip or Polar Plunge is that crazy event where crazy people jump into a hole cut out of the ice in a pond or lake--no skinny dipping here. You have to have a few screws loose. My screws must have been bouncing around because I jumped! I hadn't planned on it but have been carrying enough extra clothing in my pack that I was able to immediately change from my wet clothes into dry. Someone lent me a pair of Tevas for my feet, someone else a towel. Katy opted out but Anna and I were going for it. Anna had nothing on her feet so I picked her up for all of 10 seconds to keep her bare feet off the snow. It was our turn and we stood near the edge, held hands, and counted fast. I felt a slight hesitation but Anna was committing so in we jumped! That's the way to do it--commit! Her bare feet probably helped, too. The water was only chest deep and though I thought I folded up enough, my head didn't go under all the way. But damn, you stand up fast. I remember shaking my hands as I gasped like I was trying to shake the freeze off me. Someone held out a hand and helped me out. I changed into my thick fleece pants and lots of warm layers. Exhilarating. Something I never expected to do. I'm so grateful that I can grab these opportunities. Live life fully. Hopefully we'll see some pictures soon.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Practitioner Challenge Course Day 5: Exam Prep
Friday, March 5, 2010
Started the day reviewing LOPs (Local Operating Procedures) and SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) to prep for the certification exam. Doesn't happen until sometime in April so we'd better hold on to and improve our knowledge. We were given self-assessment sheets to take with us on the course and Beth and Austin would be there with their clip boards assessing us themselves.
Got outside and those of us who had Trust Activities to run ran 'em. Mine was "Slice and Dice" and it's a lesson in perceived vs actual risk. There should be a minimum of 12 people in 2 lines facing each other 3.5' - 5' apart. They have to make chopping motions with their arms and a volunteer needs to walk through the line at a consistent pace. We had fewer than 12 people so I improvised and had the first 4 people run to the end of the line after the volunteer had passed them. We ran through this twice and then went to the debrief. That's when I said I'd have done better had I practiced in advance. I thought my debrief was decent because I tied it to events that happened on the Zip Line yesterday. My group feedback was that my instructions were kind of muddled. Another said that had they all been paying attention and not having side conversations, it would have gone smoother. Thanks for that. Austin said I should have said, "I need all of you to get into 2 lines facing each other and about 3.5 to 5' apart" rather than stand around telling them what they were going to do. Of course. He also appreciated how I did my debrief but said I could have gone deeper with the consequences of actions and the process of helping someone who is frozen on a platform--that was me.
From there we did trust falls from the picnic table. There was discussion about how prevalent trust falls became but that they should be done with groups of people who know and work together well. Apparently that has not been the case and trust falls have become a bit of a joke in some circles. They showed us how to set up, shoulder to shoulder, spotter stance with left foot a little behind and turned, knees bent and ready, and arms alternating with the person across from you no more than to the elbow. The person falling, in this case Austin, needs to put their heels on the edge of the table and be centered so that they will fall in the center of the line. The person trusting needs to interlace their fingers and turn their hands inward so that they fold across their chest. This keeps them from flailing their arms out and hitting someone. They use typical commands: Spotters ready? Ready. Falling? Fall Away. Then the person falls back stiffly (pinch a quarter in their butt cheeks) so that they don't drop their butt which will put a lot of pressure and likely fall through the lineup causing someone to get hurt. After Austin, Marc, Jen, and I tried it. I faltered on the first "falling." Beth said do the commands again and I fell back that time though it felt like I might have bent my knees a bit hence a butt drop but I was told I didn't. That felt good to manage.
Time for lunch and then out to the course again. This time we needed to identify areas in which we feel weak and to ask questions and practice. I felt I needed practice in most all of it but went to the Pamper Pole to review chest harnesses and belaying with a gri-gri. By the time we got back, it was too late to do much of anything else. I was feeling frustrated because while we're supposed to be learning from each other, if everyone is testing and learning, you spin and guess and retry as time ticks. I came away feeling less confident than I had the rest of the week.
The call went out,"Who knows where the ladder chain went?" I found it buried in leaves so we were able to lock up the ladders. That felt productive. Also tied a killich (clove hitch followed by half hitches with the last one on the tip of the rope so that it will go through the pulley smoothly) on the Giant Swing; p-cord is hitched to the belay rope and you pull the cord through the pulley and secure the belay rope out of easy reach and to the tree.
We turned in our self-assessments and Beth saw my scoring and called me the self doubter. Oh, well. I guess you can't have significant days everyday.
Started the day reviewing LOPs (Local Operating Procedures) and SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) to prep for the certification exam. Doesn't happen until sometime in April so we'd better hold on to and improve our knowledge. We were given self-assessment sheets to take with us on the course and Beth and Austin would be there with their clip boards assessing us themselves.
Got outside and those of us who had Trust Activities to run ran 'em. Mine was "Slice and Dice" and it's a lesson in perceived vs actual risk. There should be a minimum of 12 people in 2 lines facing each other 3.5' - 5' apart. They have to make chopping motions with their arms and a volunteer needs to walk through the line at a consistent pace. We had fewer than 12 people so I improvised and had the first 4 people run to the end of the line after the volunteer had passed them. We ran through this twice and then went to the debrief. That's when I said I'd have done better had I practiced in advance. I thought my debrief was decent because I tied it to events that happened on the Zip Line yesterday. My group feedback was that my instructions were kind of muddled. Another said that had they all been paying attention and not having side conversations, it would have gone smoother. Thanks for that. Austin said I should have said, "I need all of you to get into 2 lines facing each other and about 3.5 to 5' apart" rather than stand around telling them what they were going to do. Of course. He also appreciated how I did my debrief but said I could have gone deeper with the consequences of actions and the process of helping someone who is frozen on a platform--that was me.
From there we did trust falls from the picnic table. There was discussion about how prevalent trust falls became but that they should be done with groups of people who know and work together well. Apparently that has not been the case and trust falls have become a bit of a joke in some circles. They showed us how to set up, shoulder to shoulder, spotter stance with left foot a little behind and turned, knees bent and ready, and arms alternating with the person across from you no more than to the elbow. The person falling, in this case Austin, needs to put their heels on the edge of the table and be centered so that they will fall in the center of the line. The person trusting needs to interlace their fingers and turn their hands inward so that they fold across their chest. This keeps them from flailing their arms out and hitting someone. They use typical commands: Spotters ready? Ready. Falling? Fall Away. Then the person falls back stiffly (pinch a quarter in their butt cheeks) so that they don't drop their butt which will put a lot of pressure and likely fall through the lineup causing someone to get hurt. After Austin, Marc, Jen, and I tried it. I faltered on the first "falling." Beth said do the commands again and I fell back that time though it felt like I might have bent my knees a bit hence a butt drop but I was told I didn't. That felt good to manage.
Time for lunch and then out to the course again. This time we needed to identify areas in which we feel weak and to ask questions and practice. I felt I needed practice in most all of it but went to the Pamper Pole to review chest harnesses and belaying with a gri-gri. By the time we got back, it was too late to do much of anything else. I was feeling frustrated because while we're supposed to be learning from each other, if everyone is testing and learning, you spin and guess and retry as time ticks. I came away feeling less confident than I had the rest of the week.
The call went out,"Who knows where the ladder chain went?" I found it buried in leaves so we were able to lock up the ladders. That felt productive. Also tied a killich (clove hitch followed by half hitches with the last one on the tip of the rope so that it will go through the pulley smoothly) on the Giant Swing; p-cord is hitched to the belay rope and you pull the cord through the pulley and secure the belay rope out of easy reach and to the tree.
We turned in our self-assessments and Beth saw my scoring and called me the self doubter. Oh, well. I guess you can't have significant days everyday.
Practioner Challenge Course Day 4: Zip Line
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Set-up and climbed the Play Pen. Took all my strength to get to two levels. Felt zapped afterwards. Watched a rescue demo. George, who is going for Level 2 certification, rescued Beth from the Cat Walk. Level 1 just needs to have a sense of how it happens and the types of things we can do before it gets to a Level 2 cutting a rope to rescue. Beth's dog Marlee was crying because Beth was up in a harness and not reachable.
After lunch we headed to the Zip Line. I never noticed it before right off the side road and near the parking lot. Just looks like a couple of telephone poles with guy wires running off it. But there it was in all it's height. I'm guessing 30'. Austin said to guesstimate with someone you know is about 6' tall and standing next to it--then multiply. A lone pole looks all the more imposing as it stands smooth and bare with only climbing staples to stand upon.
Beth and Austin planned to step back and let us figure out how to set up the system with minimal intervention. I was with the group at the platform and chaos reigned. My brain was moving frenetically so at some point I walked down to see what was happening on the other end of the line. . . not helpful to the larger group but I needed more direction. It happened that the other group was finished setting up so I lucked out and got a one-on-one with Austin. We talked about the set-up and I pointed out what I saw and asked questions and he asked questions of me to assure that I understood.
We had 2 belay set-ups. One at the start to raise the rider to the platform and one at the finish to raise them and take tension off their self-belay line so they could unclip and be transferred to the 2:1 belay system which looks something like an N. The 2:1 gives a mechanical advantage making it easier to lift or haul a person. From the belay cable, there was a steel locking carabiner clipped into a figure eight knot. From there, the rope dropped down to create a loop through another carabiner (this produces a little friction but we don't use a pulley because someone's fingers could be caught) and went back up to a directional pulley. From there, the rope dropped down again for the haulers. Because there was a 2:1 mechanical advantage, 2 or 3 people could belay the 6' height without a belay device. We could have also used a 3:1 which would have looked like an M and made the belay that much easier. For some reason I thought that I saw an SRD (sheer reduction device) but Austin said we would only use those on an element like the Pamper Pole where we want holding ability rather than hauling ability.
I made my way back to the platform belay where Beth was perched on high. We were using an Australian Belay where at least 4 or 5, maybe 12 people, are clipped in and haul a person up to the platform where Beth would walk them through the process of clipping and unclipping and deciding how they'd like to ride. (We used this same system for the Flying Squirrel.) Some were jumping off backwards in trust falls. Don't know how they did it. I was helping belay, and eventually took a ride up to Beth to see what I could do.
As I was getting hauled up I felt the panic start. It was so high. I climbed up on to the itty bitty platform and Beth used her calm voice to get me over on her side that was just slightly less itty bitty. She did the clipping seeing that I was hardly functioning. She suggested I stop hugging the pole and turn around. I turned my feet in tiny increments until I was facing relatively forward to the zip line but on the verge of tears saying "Beth, I don't think I can do this."She worked with me, giving me the Challenge By Choice option but still encouraging me to go. The longer I stood there I noticed I started to hyperventilate because I was getting the same tingling sensation I felt when I tried to rappel. She tried to get me to regulate my breathing but I was well into my fear. She suggested it may not be my day and I could try another time and rappel or climb down. But then I'd feel like I failed and I know there won't be another time because our schedule is tight as it is. I tried repeating the battle of fear and ego from "The Fear Book" but don't think I got it quite right. Beth said later that she was trying to remember what I had said. But then she hit on the right approach. "Eileen, it's really a lovely ride."Oh, a lovely ride? That's a different bent from a thrill ride. Maybe I could do a lovely ride.
We talked about whether the belay rope was long enough to allow me to sit down on the platform and I found I was able to. From there I asked if she could push me but she suggested I scooch up toward the edge. I did and finally moved myself to the point of no return and with breath sucked in fast and hard, found myself zipping down the line. It was a lovely ride. Tears and sobs fell out of me in relief and at some point I just let go my grip on the rope and rode with arms outstretched, embracing my ride, my fear, and my courage. People stopped me at the finish, did the belay routine and got me to the ground. Got a hug from Coquette as I wept from relief. Austin walked over and reminded me that the best way to get rid of the hyperventilation numbness is to walk around. I felt better in a few minutes and Kristie showed me how to get others down from their rides. Mike came through in cannonball fashion and set the distance record. It held for a few rides until after I told Aaron Mike's tip about holding yourself in a straight and aerodynamic form which should help you go a longer distance. I saw an opportunity for payback for Mike's earlier Freudian slip when he tried to take my place at the Australian Belay saying, "I know your muscles are weak. . . oh, I mean tired." Oh, no no, Mikey!" I've owed him since the fall for a few other things so I finally hit pay dirt.
Poor Beth. She stood on that platform for near 3 hours in the cold and wind giving us thrills and teaching us how to manage a platform. That is dedication.
Fell into bed at 7:30. Woke around midnight. Knew Victoria would be up so called her. Woke on and off but got some much needed sleep.
Tomorrow (today) not sure what's up but it's Challenge Course Day 5. I'll be leading a trust activity.
Set-up and climbed the Play Pen. Took all my strength to get to two levels. Felt zapped afterwards. Watched a rescue demo. George, who is going for Level 2 certification, rescued Beth from the Cat Walk. Level 1 just needs to have a sense of how it happens and the types of things we can do before it gets to a Level 2 cutting a rope to rescue. Beth's dog Marlee was crying because Beth was up in a harness and not reachable.
After lunch we headed to the Zip Line. I never noticed it before right off the side road and near the parking lot. Just looks like a couple of telephone poles with guy wires running off it. But there it was in all it's height. I'm guessing 30'. Austin said to guesstimate with someone you know is about 6' tall and standing next to it--then multiply. A lone pole looks all the more imposing as it stands smooth and bare with only climbing staples to stand upon.
Beth and Austin planned to step back and let us figure out how to set up the system with minimal intervention. I was with the group at the platform and chaos reigned. My brain was moving frenetically so at some point I walked down to see what was happening on the other end of the line. . . not helpful to the larger group but I needed more direction. It happened that the other group was finished setting up so I lucked out and got a one-on-one with Austin. We talked about the set-up and I pointed out what I saw and asked questions and he asked questions of me to assure that I understood.
We had 2 belay set-ups. One at the start to raise the rider to the platform and one at the finish to raise them and take tension off their self-belay line so they could unclip and be transferred to the 2:1 belay system which looks something like an N. The 2:1 gives a mechanical advantage making it easier to lift or haul a person. From the belay cable, there was a steel locking carabiner clipped into a figure eight knot. From there, the rope dropped down to create a loop through another carabiner (this produces a little friction but we don't use a pulley because someone's fingers could be caught) and went back up to a directional pulley. From there, the rope dropped down again for the haulers. Because there was a 2:1 mechanical advantage, 2 or 3 people could belay the 6' height without a belay device. We could have also used a 3:1 which would have looked like an M and made the belay that much easier. For some reason I thought that I saw an SRD (sheer reduction device) but Austin said we would only use those on an element like the Pamper Pole where we want holding ability rather than hauling ability.
I made my way back to the platform belay where Beth was perched on high. We were using an Australian Belay where at least 4 or 5, maybe 12 people, are clipped in and haul a person up to the platform where Beth would walk them through the process of clipping and unclipping and deciding how they'd like to ride. (We used this same system for the Flying Squirrel.) Some were jumping off backwards in trust falls. Don't know how they did it. I was helping belay, and eventually took a ride up to Beth to see what I could do.
As I was getting hauled up I felt the panic start. It was so high. I climbed up on to the itty bitty platform and Beth used her calm voice to get me over on her side that was just slightly less itty bitty. She did the clipping seeing that I was hardly functioning. She suggested I stop hugging the pole and turn around. I turned my feet in tiny increments until I was facing relatively forward to the zip line but on the verge of tears saying "Beth, I don't think I can do this."She worked with me, giving me the Challenge By Choice option but still encouraging me to go. The longer I stood there I noticed I started to hyperventilate because I was getting the same tingling sensation I felt when I tried to rappel. She tried to get me to regulate my breathing but I was well into my fear. She suggested it may not be my day and I could try another time and rappel or climb down. But then I'd feel like I failed and I know there won't be another time because our schedule is tight as it is. I tried repeating the battle of fear and ego from "The Fear Book" but don't think I got it quite right. Beth said later that she was trying to remember what I had said. But then she hit on the right approach. "Eileen, it's really a lovely ride."Oh, a lovely ride? That's a different bent from a thrill ride. Maybe I could do a lovely ride.
We talked about whether the belay rope was long enough to allow me to sit down on the platform and I found I was able to. From there I asked if she could push me but she suggested I scooch up toward the edge. I did and finally moved myself to the point of no return and with breath sucked in fast and hard, found myself zipping down the line. It was a lovely ride. Tears and sobs fell out of me in relief and at some point I just let go my grip on the rope and rode with arms outstretched, embracing my ride, my fear, and my courage. People stopped me at the finish, did the belay routine and got me to the ground. Got a hug from Coquette as I wept from relief. Austin walked over and reminded me that the best way to get rid of the hyperventilation numbness is to walk around. I felt better in a few minutes and Kristie showed me how to get others down from their rides. Mike came through in cannonball fashion and set the distance record. It held for a few rides until after I told Aaron Mike's tip about holding yourself in a straight and aerodynamic form which should help you go a longer distance. I saw an opportunity for payback for Mike's earlier Freudian slip when he tried to take my place at the Australian Belay saying, "I know your muscles are weak. . . oh, I mean tired." Oh, no no, Mikey!" I've owed him since the fall for a few other things so I finally hit pay dirt.
Poor Beth. She stood on that platform for near 3 hours in the cold and wind giving us thrills and teaching us how to manage a platform. That is dedication.
Fell into bed at 7:30. Woke around midnight. Knew Victoria would be up so called her. Woke on and off but got some much needed sleep.
Tomorrow (today) not sure what's up but it's Challenge Course Day 5. I'll be leading a trust activity.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Practitioner Challenge Course Day 3: Climbing, Gri Gris, Birth & Death
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Oh, where to begin. Weary, exhausted, previously exhilarated. Forced myself to buy some food on the way home and actually stay vertical to cook it. The days are becoming a blur and I'm not sure I remember what I did this morning. Let's see.
I was waiting for a turn on the Multi-Vine so, while waiting, belayed Jen while she Lead Climbed to attach a second belay pulley. She was up freakin' high but got it set up like a pro! I let her down with the gri-gri but got pulled off the ground on the downhill as her pulley slid to the center. I had a sense that I could be pulled but didn't think about the downhill factor. I should also have had someone holding my harness to counter that action. I tried to stay with it but as my feet left the ground I called for help looking for someone to grab the loop on my harness and hold us both down. I presented Austin and Beth with a "teachable moment" and learned well. But, I didn't drop Jen with the gri-gri so things were looking up in my book.
Beth got me Lead Climbing again with the lobster claws but this time up the Cat Walk and with the miserable carabiner type "claws" that you have to do a one-handed twist and squeeze of the barrel so you can clip onto an anchor. I whined about using them vs the real claws and Beth basically told me it would be good for me so stop whining. Once I was off the ladder she took it away and I was on my own with the claws maneuvering around the left side of the post and onto the platform which is higher than the beam. From the platform she asked me to clip in and climb up to the belay cable and when Beth or Austin ask, I try. I guess I know they won't ask me to do anything they don't think I can do and I need that kind of support. All that Challenge by Choice. . . moving out of your comfort zone. Beth said I'm leaps ahead of where I started and now my goals are about getting comfortable with height. Especially now since we're being assessed.
And in Beth's style, she pushed me to walk the Cat Walk while she was belaying me with a gri-gri. You don't get the same tight tension and unless you know how to use them properly, they are an accident waiting to happen. (Odd, since Austin told us that the gri-gri was originally developed to solve climbing problems.) Beth was pushing me to use my legs and feel myself on the beam rather than count so heavily on the belay tension to hold me upright which is what I generally ask for. She was having none of it. She suggested I try a surprise fall so I'd see how the tension feels when I fall. She gets me to do the strangest things. I fell and slid around but kept my feet on the beam and the tension was enough to hold me there. I righted myself and Austin happened by at the time and watched as I tried no hands and no noticeable belay tension to inch across the beam. Did it, sort of. Then Beth belayed me down from the beam which I can say in this semester is fun.
She had me Lead Climb again up the other Cat Walk post this time up high to the belay cable. My fingers were freezing and I kept catching them between the claw barrel and the stem as I clipped in. I couldn't make it up to the belay cable which is higher than the cables you walk on. Beth suggested I transfer from the Cat Walk to the Multi-Vine and then over to the giant swing. Right. I didn't have a lot of faith I'd get far on the Vine but tried. I did a similar element 3 years ago and it was tough. The vines are hanging vertical ropes that you grab onto but they offer little stability as you cross the cable from one rope to reach another rope. Hanging on to a vine and my belay rope, I can't recall if I got to the 2nd rope but I was beat and cold so opted for a belay down. At some point through all of this she told me again, "Don't be so daft." It's become her endearing way to poke fun and keep me loose.
Since we've all been told that we need to be busy doing something so we can be assessed, I next found myself climbing the big swing. I figured I'd go up, and it is up, but no expectations that I had to swing down. Aaron had taken Austin's place on the platform and Erin was belaying. What I've noticed is that I'm climbing better. I go up pretty quickly. I'm still nervous but I don't let it get me early on. I got up to the swing platform and Aaron did a bunch of clipping in and out. I was holding on to the tree anchors--amazing how sticking a finger through each anchor gives some foolish semblance of safety. Of course I was belayed to Erin but still. I told Aaron that 3 years ago I had sat on a zip line platform for 15 minutes before a friend gave me a gentle push off. It was the only way I could get off the damn thing. Today I had seen others swinging. There's a long drop and then a long swing. I just couldn't do it. And it was okay. I had been climbing up and down trees and belaying and damn it, I was busy doing things I wouldn't do last semester. So, while I'm not doing the highly technical stuff like installing pulleys on the highest cables, I've moved forward. Austin caught me end of day doing something high and said appreciatively, "Pushin'. Always pushin'. You've been doing that since day one."
Somewhere in between all of that, Ian got himself up the ladder and onto the Cat Walk. I learned that he fell off a ladder in the summer while painting a house. He landed on the deck and fell through the guy's picnic table. When he was little, he also saw a kid fall out of a tree. Hence, fear of heights. He really pushed through some stuff today and I got to belay him. I hope that fact didn't prevent him from going out onto and off the beam. I wanted to give him a big hug and I'm not sure why I only did a stupid high-five. I think Ian could have dealt with a hug. Meanwhile, Laura was on the Playpen and on the highest level. She got a nosebleed!
We headed back to the classroom for a debrief. My group had to pick a button that had a saying that meant something to us. I found two.
1. "I'm in the awkward stage of life between birth and death." Since I'm much closer to the death stage of life, I can feel especially awkward in this OLP direction I have taken. At the same time, I can feel especially grateful.
2. "It's not just a backpack. It's my life!" Nuf said. Well, no. Beth prodded me for how all of this connects to the Challenge Course. Oh, I'm Fully Participating In Life!
Erin reminds me that I'm still one bad bitch and she's counting on me getting a tattoo before graduation. I've thought randomly of it for a few years but of what?
Took pictures yesterday and today but who's got time to upload? Marc took some, too.
Tomorrow, Zip Line. Now, more reading. . . maybe.
Oh, where to begin. Weary, exhausted, previously exhilarated. Forced myself to buy some food on the way home and actually stay vertical to cook it. The days are becoming a blur and I'm not sure I remember what I did this morning. Let's see.
I was waiting for a turn on the Multi-Vine so, while waiting, belayed Jen while she Lead Climbed to attach a second belay pulley. She was up freakin' high but got it set up like a pro! I let her down with the gri-gri but got pulled off the ground on the downhill as her pulley slid to the center. I had a sense that I could be pulled but didn't think about the downhill factor. I should also have had someone holding my harness to counter that action. I tried to stay with it but as my feet left the ground I called for help looking for someone to grab the loop on my harness and hold us both down. I presented Austin and Beth with a "teachable moment" and learned well. But, I didn't drop Jen with the gri-gri so things were looking up in my book.
Beth got me Lead Climbing again with the lobster claws but this time up the Cat Walk and with the miserable carabiner type "claws" that you have to do a one-handed twist and squeeze of the barrel so you can clip onto an anchor. I whined about using them vs the real claws and Beth basically told me it would be good for me so stop whining. Once I was off the ladder she took it away and I was on my own with the claws maneuvering around the left side of the post and onto the platform which is higher than the beam. From the platform she asked me to clip in and climb up to the belay cable and when Beth or Austin ask, I try. I guess I know they won't ask me to do anything they don't think I can do and I need that kind of support. All that Challenge by Choice. . . moving out of your comfort zone. Beth said I'm leaps ahead of where I started and now my goals are about getting comfortable with height. Especially now since we're being assessed.
She had me Lead Climb again up the other Cat Walk post this time up high to the belay cable. My fingers were freezing and I kept catching them between the claw barrel and the stem as I clipped in. I couldn't make it up to the belay cable which is higher than the cables you walk on. Beth suggested I transfer from the Cat Walk to the Multi-Vine and then over to the giant swing. Right. I didn't have a lot of faith I'd get far on the Vine but tried. I did a similar element 3 years ago and it was tough. The vines are hanging vertical ropes that you grab onto but they offer little stability as you cross the cable from one rope to reach another rope. Hanging on to a vine and my belay rope, I can't recall if I got to the 2nd rope but I was beat and cold so opted for a belay down. At some point through all of this she told me again, "Don't be so daft." It's become her endearing way to poke fun and keep me loose.
Since we've all been told that we need to be busy doing something so we can be assessed, I next found myself climbing the big swing. I figured I'd go up, and it is up, but no expectations that I had to swing down. Aaron had taken Austin's place on the platform and Erin was belaying. What I've noticed is that I'm climbing better. I go up pretty quickly. I'm still nervous but I don't let it get me early on. I got up to the swing platform and Aaron did a bunch of clipping in and out. I was holding on to the tree anchors--amazing how sticking a finger through each anchor gives some foolish semblance of safety. Of course I was belayed to Erin but still. I told Aaron that 3 years ago I had sat on a zip line platform for 15 minutes before a friend gave me a gentle push off. It was the only way I could get off the damn thing. Today I had seen others swinging. There's a long drop and then a long swing. I just couldn't do it. And it was okay. I had been climbing up and down trees and belaying and damn it, I was busy doing things I wouldn't do last semester. So, while I'm not doing the highly technical stuff like installing pulleys on the highest cables, I've moved forward. Austin caught me end of day doing something high and said appreciatively, "Pushin'. Always pushin'. You've been doing that since day one."
We headed back to the classroom for a debrief. My group had to pick a button that had a saying that meant something to us. I found two.
1. "I'm in the awkward stage of life between birth and death." Since I'm much closer to the death stage of life, I can feel especially awkward in this OLP direction I have taken. At the same time, I can feel especially grateful.
2. "It's not just a backpack. It's my life!" Nuf said. Well, no. Beth prodded me for how all of this connects to the Challenge Course. Oh, I'm Fully Participating In Life!
Erin reminds me that I'm still one bad bitch and she's counting on me getting a tattoo before graduation. I've thought randomly of it for a few years but of what?
Took pictures yesterday and today but who's got time to upload? Marc took some, too.
Tomorrow, Zip Line. Now, more reading. . . maybe.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Practioner Challenge Course Day 2: Leading Edge Climbing
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Hardware. We need to know the various pieces of hardware used in building challenge courses.
GAC = Galvanized Aircraft Cable and the 3/8" diameter, 7x19 (7 major bundles each with 19 inner strands increasing flexibility) has a tensile strength or break point of 14,000 lbs or 7 tons. Challenge courses only tax the cable to 20% of its capacity, 2800 lbs. We need to know this information so that we can ease anxieties about safety. And then there's the myriad of bolts, nuts, clips, washers, ferrule (oval sleeve), anchors, strandvise (outdated in the industry and to be phased out in the next year or two), climbing staples, etc. And don't forget the glossary of terms; dynamic rope (has some stretch used for belay) vs static rope (no stretch used on anchors), shear reduction device eases the shear or cutting force by creating a large bend for directional changes, SAG vertical deflection in a horizontal cable, Leading Edge climbing alternates clipping into anchors with "lobster claws" and the UIAA vs the CE.
I did some Leading Edge climbing today on the Bridge which is considerably higher than the Catwalk. A zorber with the "lobster claws" is basically 2 claws at the end of 2 prusiked ropes, both of which are connected to a package of webbing that is sewn to fail--rip apart to ease a potential fall. The whole deal is clipped onto your harness and as you climb you must always be aware of keeping one claw clipped in while you unclip the other claw and climb up. Austin said I did it properly without messing up the order that assures you're clipped in at all times. He had suggested we all try to get up to the foot cable but I stopped a few feet shy of the goal. I had had enough fun and began my descent.
On the ground again, I took pictures of Coquette who traversed the Bridge, and Kristie and Laura who climbed with the claws.
Then I ran up to the Pamper Pole to give it another try. Maybe because I knew what was required and because I hadn't really prepped my mind, I just couldn't get my feet up on the top of the pole again. No cigar. Eventually, I jumped off near the top and Sarah Levy belayed me. I was laughing as I swung around but was disappointed that I couldn't manage it again. . . despite Sarah Maney, Jake, Ian, and Sarah L doing their best to get me to jump for the punching bag again.
What gems are in store tomorrow?
Hardware. We need to know the various pieces of hardware used in building challenge courses.
On the ground again, I took pictures of Coquette who traversed the Bridge, and Kristie and Laura who climbed with the claws.
Then I ran up to the Pamper Pole to give it another try. Maybe because I knew what was required and because I hadn't really prepped my mind, I just couldn't get my feet up on the top of the pole again. No cigar. Eventually, I jumped off near the top and Sarah Levy belayed me. I was laughing as I swung around but was disappointed that I couldn't manage it again. . . despite Sarah Maney, Jake, Ian, and Sarah L doing their best to get me to jump for the punching bag again.
What gems are in store tomorrow?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Practioner Challenge Course: The Pamper Pole & Butterflies
Monday, March 1, 2010
So, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I wish I had one. I climbed THE "Pamper Pole" today.
This was the swaying pole that Austin mentioned in the fall and that George said was scary enough that you'd need a Pamper as in diaper--hence the name. Climb this pole, stand on top of it and jump out to catch a trapeze. I believe my response was "I just don't see that happening." But in fact, it did happen. In fact, I asked Beth if I could go first.
First things first. Because we are starting instructor level course work, today was to be a review of what we learned in the fall; group leadership, knot tying, set-up and safety awareness of the various high ropes elements, etc. I want to feel that there's something I have a handle on and there's never enough time to experience all the elements and let all the aspects sink in. I decided to go for the Cat Walk again along with Joe, Kristie, and Coquette. While we set-up, Austin showed us a couple of more knots including the Alpine Butterfly. I love this knot! I got it right away. It's easy to see and follow. No big mystery or trying to trace back what goes where. We would use the butterfly, for instance, at the Flying Squirrel where we are tying in a bunch of people to pull up the Squirrel. It made me happy and I kept tying it and again tonight at home while heating cider.
Once we were approved with our set-up, we took turns walking the Cat Walk again. I climbed okay but once up was slightly shaky wanting a tight belay. I got across very differently than I had in the fall. This time the pulley was sticky and with sloppy snow on the ground making it hard for Kristie to keep the rope tight and keep her feet planted as she belayed. I had to keep yanking the pulley so I could advance across. Yanking anything never would have happened in the fall. I had to laugh about it and Joe remarked on the difference watching me maneuver across this time. Again, I walked to the far side then went back to the beginning and then back again to the middle, leaned back into my harness with my legs straight out, feet on the beam, dropped below the beam and swung safely as I was lowered.
We dismantled all the elements and broke for lunch. When we came back, we did some review of theory and then were told to grab our harnesses and helmets because we were heading back to the course and up to the Pamper Pole! Oh, tricky. Beth never mentioned this to me on Friday and Austin never said anything this morning.
The infamous Pamper Pole--a telephone pole stuck in the ground with climbing staples jammed into it. I decided to pee before harnessing up doing my best not to need a Pamper. I talked to myself through the woods to the course, holding my medals while walking and then tucking them back in my shirt, cold on my skin so I'd be reminded of their presence and what they represent; awakening, activating, inner powers, victory. While Jen was gone mountaineering last week, she had lent me her book Girl On The Rocks. It's about women rock climbers and ways to climb despite their fear that doesn't disappear. I rationalized with myself as I hiked through the woods toward the infamous. I pulled my intellectual knowledge ahead of my emotional knowledge and reminded myself that I would be safe. I know that the equipment is safe and that we have learned to act safely. . . and Austin and Beth were there. As I got closer, I'd sneak glances at the pole through the bare branches. When I got to the clearing, I thought, "That's it? It's not as high as I expected. It's about the same height as the Cat Walk. I can do this." Of course I'd have to stand on the end of the pole rather than walk across it. All things relative. There was a slight twist in the element in that the trapeze had been switched for a punching bag looking object. Out about 10', maybe 12', we had to leap out and punch the bag before we dropped.
My strategy was to stay ahead of my fear. I asked Beth if I could go first. "For real?" she asked. "Yes."
She put the chest harness on me, reminding people how to fit it properly. . . I couldn't see anything so will need a review. As we walked toward the pole she said "The trick is to not hang around on top for long." Got it. I did my safety checks with Anna and Mike the ladder holders and Katy the belayer and started my climb. I got to the end of the ladder and used a prusik with the foot loop that we learned a couple of weeks ago but the name I forget. That got me up to the big staples in the pole and I just climbed. Don't think, don't look down. Just climb. I had a slight hesitation as my hands reached the top of the pole but I kept moving. How the hell am I going to stand on top of this pole? I think I remember yelling that question and there were lots of answers. Basically I needed to hold on to the top of the pole, keep one foot on a staple and stretch my leg up so that I could put my other foot flat on top of the pole. I knew I needed to keep moving, don't think long. I got my left foot on the top and was amazed to know that my foot was actually there. Some sense of out of body. I still was trying not to look down. I grabbed the floppy belay rope with my right hand to steady me as I pulled my other foot on the top of the pole. I straightened up and was standing on top of this pole! There was much shouting and encouraging from below though I couldn't really take in what was said as I looked across at the bag I was supposed to leap out and punch. Somebody, maybe Mike, made me laugh yelling that I looked hot though that may have actually been on the climb. Don't hang out up there long, Beth had said. I had to go but that bag was out so far. Do they really expect us to reach that thing? My lunge toward the bag was half hearted but my scream was banshee like, my intellect telling me I wouldn't fall far. I don't think adventure leaders are suppose to scream.
Austin told me that I shouldn't have grabbed the belay rope to steady myself because I pulled extra slack and it made me fall that much farther. Also, they were worried that my shoulder would get pulled back. Okay, so live and learn. I thought I had let go of it before I jumped. Off belay, I walked back to the group and felt a cry rising inside for what I had just done but Marc was getting ready to climb and I needed to pay attention. He climbed, stood, jumped far and hit the bag! So did Mike! Jen gave it a good shot but couldn't quite reach it. Aaron hit it, too! Good form. No screams. Out of time and we'll be back again for everyone to get a shot at it. I wonder if the old lady doing it first put pressure on others to do it.
I didn't jump out like I should have to tag the bag. I started to grouse at myself again for not doing it perfectly. Then I told myself to appreciate what I did do. Think about it! I climbed the telephone pole and stood on top of it. I could not imagine myself doing that last semester. Not even this semester. Kind of forgot about it until today. I still haven't cried. Maybe I won't. But somehow it's a release for me and I feel clear when I let it out. I think I need to sit still. Feel what I did and what it means for me. But not tonight. Lots of homework to read and research.
Forget your perfect offering
Just ring the bell that still can ring
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
Leonard Cohen
So, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I wish I had one. I climbed THE "Pamper Pole" today.
This was the swaying pole that Austin mentioned in the fall and that George said was scary enough that you'd need a Pamper as in diaper--hence the name. Climb this pole, stand on top of it and jump out to catch a trapeze. I believe my response was "I just don't see that happening." But in fact, it did happen. In fact, I asked Beth if I could go first.
First things first. Because we are starting instructor level course work, today was to be a review of what we learned in the fall; group leadership, knot tying, set-up and safety awareness of the various high ropes elements, etc. I want to feel that there's something I have a handle on and there's never enough time to experience all the elements and let all the aspects sink in. I decided to go for the Cat Walk again along with Joe, Kristie, and Coquette. While we set-up, Austin showed us a couple of more knots including the Alpine Butterfly. I love this knot! I got it right away. It's easy to see and follow. No big mystery or trying to trace back what goes where. We would use the butterfly, for instance, at the Flying Squirrel where we are tying in a bunch of people to pull up the Squirrel. It made me happy and I kept tying it and again tonight at home while heating cider.Once we were approved with our set-up, we took turns walking the Cat Walk again. I climbed okay but once up was slightly shaky wanting a tight belay. I got across very differently than I had in the fall. This time the pulley was sticky and with sloppy snow on the ground making it hard for Kristie to keep the rope tight and keep her feet planted as she belayed. I had to keep yanking the pulley so I could advance across. Yanking anything never would have happened in the fall. I had to laugh about it and Joe remarked on the difference watching me maneuver across this time. Again, I walked to the far side then went back to the beginning and then back again to the middle, leaned back into my harness with my legs straight out, feet on the beam, dropped below the beam and swung safely as I was lowered.
We dismantled all the elements and broke for lunch. When we came back, we did some review of theory and then were told to grab our harnesses and helmets because we were heading back to the course and up to the Pamper Pole! Oh, tricky. Beth never mentioned this to me on Friday and Austin never said anything this morning.
The infamous Pamper Pole--a telephone pole stuck in the ground with climbing staples jammed into it. I decided to pee before harnessing up doing my best not to need a Pamper. I talked to myself through the woods to the course, holding my medals while walking and then tucking them back in my shirt, cold on my skin so I'd be reminded of their presence and what they represent; awakening, activating, inner powers, victory. While Jen was gone mountaineering last week, she had lent me her book Girl On The Rocks. It's about women rock climbers and ways to climb despite their fear that doesn't disappear. I rationalized with myself as I hiked through the woods toward the infamous. I pulled my intellectual knowledge ahead of my emotional knowledge and reminded myself that I would be safe. I know that the equipment is safe and that we have learned to act safely. . . and Austin and Beth were there. As I got closer, I'd sneak glances at the pole through the bare branches. When I got to the clearing, I thought, "That's it? It's not as high as I expected. It's about the same height as the Cat Walk. I can do this." Of course I'd have to stand on the end of the pole rather than walk across it. All things relative. There was a slight twist in the element in that the trapeze had been switched for a punching bag looking object. Out about 10', maybe 12', we had to leap out and punch the bag before we dropped.
My strategy was to stay ahead of my fear. I asked Beth if I could go first. "For real?" she asked. "Yes."
She put the chest harness on me, reminding people how to fit it properly. . . I couldn't see anything so will need a review. As we walked toward the pole she said "The trick is to not hang around on top for long." Got it. I did my safety checks with Anna and Mike the ladder holders and Katy the belayer and started my climb. I got to the end of the ladder and used a prusik with the foot loop that we learned a couple of weeks ago but the name I forget. That got me up to the big staples in the pole and I just climbed. Don't think, don't look down. Just climb. I had a slight hesitation as my hands reached the top of the pole but I kept moving. How the hell am I going to stand on top of this pole? I think I remember yelling that question and there were lots of answers. Basically I needed to hold on to the top of the pole, keep one foot on a staple and stretch my leg up so that I could put my other foot flat on top of the pole. I knew I needed to keep moving, don't think long. I got my left foot on the top and was amazed to know that my foot was actually there. Some sense of out of body. I still was trying not to look down. I grabbed the floppy belay rope with my right hand to steady me as I pulled my other foot on the top of the pole. I straightened up and was standing on top of this pole! There was much shouting and encouraging from below though I couldn't really take in what was said as I looked across at the bag I was supposed to leap out and punch. Somebody, maybe Mike, made me laugh yelling that I looked hot though that may have actually been on the climb. Don't hang out up there long, Beth had said. I had to go but that bag was out so far. Do they really expect us to reach that thing? My lunge toward the bag was half hearted but my scream was banshee like, my intellect telling me I wouldn't fall far. I don't think adventure leaders are suppose to scream.
Austin told me that I shouldn't have grabbed the belay rope to steady myself because I pulled extra slack and it made me fall that much farther. Also, they were worried that my shoulder would get pulled back. Okay, so live and learn. I thought I had let go of it before I jumped. Off belay, I walked back to the group and felt a cry rising inside for what I had just done but Marc was getting ready to climb and I needed to pay attention. He climbed, stood, jumped far and hit the bag! So did Mike! Jen gave it a good shot but couldn't quite reach it. Aaron hit it, too! Good form. No screams. Out of time and we'll be back again for everyone to get a shot at it. I wonder if the old lady doing it first put pressure on others to do it.
I didn't jump out like I should have to tag the bag. I started to grouse at myself again for not doing it perfectly. Then I told myself to appreciate what I did do. Think about it! I climbed the telephone pole and stood on top of it. I could not imagine myself doing that last semester. Not even this semester. Kind of forgot about it until today. I still haven't cried. Maybe I won't. But somehow it's a release for me and I feel clear when I let it out. I think I need to sit still. Feel what I did and what it means for me. But not tonight. Lots of homework to read and research.
Forget your perfect offering
Just ring the bell that still can ring
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
Leonard Cohen
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